Untitled.

I wonder if you even have an idea,

on how much I miss you.

It's really f*****g me up,

& turned into a huge issue.

I feel so empty all the time,

and I spend every night in my room crying.

Everything's just so hard without you here,

I just hope you're listening, and near.

You always had a good sense of humour,

though everything had to happen so much sooner

than anyone would have liked.

The news went through my heart like a spike.

I feel like I was never good enough,

& I know I always blew you off.

You were always there for me,

But before everything, eye to eye we never seen.

"I hate you" were my famous last words,

and you'll probably never know how much that hurts.

You're always in my thoughts,

and by me, this battle was lost, and weakly fought.

I'm slowly giving up,

hope in my dreams that you'd show up.

I close my eyes, and wait for sleep,

but relaxation I never meet.

I have so much to say,

and pain grows each day.

I have so much to ask,

each day without you is an extreme task.

What's gonna happen on Christmas?

When you don't see us open our presents.

When you're not there opening your new pair of slippers.

It's just too hard.

People help, and they try,

yet all I seem to do anymore is cry.

No one seems to understand,

but I do, and I just can't.

It's like I'mm constantly depressed,

It's a struggle in the morning to even get dressed,

I never sleep, and I rarely eat.

I constantly feel weak and beat.

I'm gonna try & make sense of this,

though I'm an extreme mess.

And all this thinking has got me crying,

but for you, I guess I'll keep trying.

And the afternoon I saw you laying there,

I was afraid, alone and scared. I did nothing but cry and stare.

It was so hard,

and now I'm forever scarred.

All I need is a sign that you're alright,

whether it's a sound, or a sight.

It's extremely hard to concentrate.

What led us to this terrible fate?

I never did a lot with you,

usually it was my sister.

If only it wasn't you to go,

maybe with you more things I'd do.

I wonder if you look down and say,

"she wasn't supposed to be like this,

It wasn't supposed to end that way."

It's your face I wanna see, it's the only one I miss.

Look at what you're doing,

the only one it's harming is myself.

I've been feeling reckless,

and trust me, I'm a mess.

You're still my daddy,

through every night and day,

but it's any words
I long to hear you say.