Inventing Shadows

She'd become so cold, so distant. At times, Cassadee could hardly breathe around her, due to all the negativity and...and all the emptiness radiating off of her. Sometimes Cass felt like it was a hopeless, endless battle; she had to plead and bargain with Shane just to get her out of the bed in the mornings.

Cass hated it, hated having to deal with Shane's hurt all the time. She missed seeing Shane's smile - her real smile - and her goofy side. Shane used to be so much fun, so easy to be around. Now she was so cold, distant. Empty.

On a rainy Wednesday in the middle of July, Cass was working hard on a new song while Shane was curled up in a chair, reading a book.

"Have you eaten today?" Cassadee asked, looking up from the cluttered coffee table.

Shane shook her head. "Not hungry. I don't feel good."

That was her excuse every meal. Cassadee hadn't seen Shane eat in a long time, quite a few months. When someone did magically get Shane to eat, Shane always ended up getting sick. It worried Cassadee to death, but there was nothing she could do. Shane was a grown woman, she could do what she wanted.

But she would try to get through, anyway.

"Well...would you like for me to fix you some soup? I think we have chicken noodle in the kitchen..."

"I said I'm not hungry. Can you just leave me alone?" Shane replied sourly. Cassadee shrunk back into herself. She hated when Shane yelled at her, which was happening more and more frequently.

Shane and Cassadee had lived together for six months; they'd be friends for two years. Cassadee had started to notice Shane's health dwindling right after she moved in. At first she thought it was just stress. College and working could do that to anybody.

But then Shane had to be put on suicide watch.

Cassadee never saw it coming, and still to this day the thought scared her. She didn't know what she would do without her best friend.

Thunder rolled outside of their apartment, and Cassadee shuddered. It was so weird for it to be storming like this in July.

She got up, deciding to go take a shower instead of force herself to think of words that just would not come to her. Shane didn't look up from her book.

After gathering clothes and turning on the water, Cassadee searched the cabinets for a razor of some sort; it'd been at least a week since she shaved her legs and the hair grew back quickly.

She pulled open one of Shane's drawers, hoping that she'd be in luck. She didn't find a razor, but she found a box cutter, a toothbrush with remnants of dried food on it, and a Body Tape Measure.

Frustrated, she slammed the drawer shut. It wasn't until she was in the shower with the hot water running down her face that she could put two and two together. It wasn't until that moment that she realized why Shane had been so resistant.

She felt like an idiot.

Cassadee wrapped a towel around her body and stormed out of the bathroom, down the hall. She was planning on calling Shane out, on yelling and asking why she would do this.

She was planning on it...until she saw Shane curled up in her chair, asleep. The only time she ever looked peaceful was when she was asleep. Suddenly Cassadee didn't feel like being so harsh anymore. Instead her heart went out to her friend.

The feeling in that moment overwhelmed Cassadee. She didn't feel sisterly love towards Shane, but a love that was much stronger. She wanted to be everything to Shane, everything and more.

Instead of waking Shane up, Cass gathered the sleeping girl in her arms, carrying her to the last bedroom on the right; Shane's room.

The light blue color of the walls and the dark color of the sky outside made the room appear darker than it was. Carefully, so she wouldn't wake Shane up, Cassadee carefully lowered her onto the unmade bed, placing the blanket just under her chin.

Cassadee walked around to the other side of the bed - it was a Queen sized - and laid down next to Shane. She moved close, and grabbed Shane's hand. A spark of electricity ran up her arm at the touch, but Cass pushed that aside. She needed to know for sure.

She pushed the sleeves of Shane's sweatshirt back, and finally had her answer. She pulled the sleeve back down, and then the girl turned over. Cassadee was scared for a moment - What am I doing here? What happens if Shane doesn't feel the same?... - but got over it as soon as she saw Shane's peaceful face.

She carefully wrapped her arms around Shane's small waist and pulled her close.

It was understandable that Shane had a past.

Cassadee was determined to change the outcome of the future.