What is to Be...

...i really don't know anymore....

 

 

What was I thinking

When I fell for you?

Though I was reluctant,

Didn’t want to have another go,

I fell into a relationship with you

 

Kind words spoken,

Easing both heart and mind,

You helped heal parts of my soul

Those others could not accomplish…

You were my someone special….

 

Now I don’t know what to think

I know we had no strings of commitment

Nothing to tie us together,

The intimacies we shared

That grew with time

 

Despite the distant, despite the time,

Did they not mean anything?

Given the discrepancies

And circumstances that had transpired,

Meanings obscured, things changed…

 

Leaving the very entity we shared,

Whatever had been there,

Feeling lifeless and barren…

Like it never was there,

Slipping away…

 

Now I am left alone and wondering,

Can I go on alone?

You can not define

What you want from me

It is all I want

 

Can I burn the final bridge?

I know I cannot…

It would not just destroy what we had,

But everything I have worked so hard

And so long to attain…

 

It is up to you to decide

Where we will go from here…

I will go away and try to live on,

But can you make up your mind

What is to be...

 

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This poem is really special and the thing makes it so special is the entire way with which you have narrated your entire story so flawlessly.
There's always a sense of innocence in us when we fall for our first love, its the time when anyone would be young and so free from all hardship and even though when our love doesn't succeed...we still keep on holding that person in each and every piece of our heart and that what makes first love so special.

"It would not just destroy what we had,
But everything I have worked so hard" - Loved these lines the most as they are so raw and vivid!


Great work Amanda!

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

Whoa! Straight emotion from you! I'm use to a ton of words that I had to look up as I read your stuff, along with cunning metaphors, but I just got straight emotions from you! Great write, and I wasn't expecting this from you! I'm vastly impressed! Great write!

[Helen Woodward]

They can't make up their minds nor can they commit to anything or anyone, that's the bad news and unfortunately there is no good news Amanda...it is best to move on and allow someone else to love you on terra firma!! Talk is cheap...very cheap and easy.
Once you accept that the bridges have indeed all been burned to attractive black, you will be better off emotionally...much better. Promises mean nothing, neither does pretense at undying love and "FOREVER" I think they all have the same specialized dictionary.
You have put your heart on your sleeve as so many of us do with extreme sadness.
Helen xx

[JadedSparrow]

Was it to be? Can I burn the final bridge? Can I go on alone? All questions I have asked myself most recently. The anguish in this poem was as my own and my heart weeps for you because I know this place of which you speak all too well. The expression of your torment is brilliantly wrought. Thank you for asking me to read this.

JS

[Ralphy]

Your sadness has rung the tears from my eyes on this blistering snowy day. I listened to your words and could not help to feel the pain you feel. Love is so special, and when you give your heart to someone, you want it nurtured and cared for. Not lost on a lonely dusty road. Your words are passionately delivered and your soul must stand it's ground and utter these words�no love is worth a misery or lack of compassion, whether fault is assigned or not�no love is worth an unbalance of sad days over good days, for this only adds to accompany misery.

Your love for this person is burning your energy with nothing to show, drained, unhappy�the most important thing is this world is to be happy�smile and remember there's many out there want to ride the wave of your happiness�let them, who knows, it could be fun�

Nice write

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Well your feelings are certainly evident here as you doubt the love you once shared...

Despite the distant, despite the time,
Did they not mean anything?
Given the discrepancies
And circumstances that had transpired,
Meanings obscured, things changed�

A very powerful verse, it is hard when you feel something shift in a relationship that doesn't feel right...
Wonderfully written as usual.