What is to Be...

...i really don't know anymore....

 

 

What was I thinking

When I fell for you?

Though I was reluctant,

Didn’t want to have another go,

I fell into a relationship with you

 

Kind words spoken,

Easing both heart and mind,

You helped heal parts of my soul

Those others could not accomplish…

You were my someone special….

 

Now I don’t know what to think

I know we had no strings of commitment

Nothing to tie us together,

The intimacies we shared

That grew with time

 

Despite the distant, despite the time,

Did they not mean anything?

Given the discrepancies

And circumstances that had transpired,

Meanings obscured, things changed…

 

Leaving the very entity we shared,

Whatever had been there,

Feeling lifeless and barren…

Like it never was there,

Slipping away…

 

Now I am left alone and wondering,

Can I go on alone?

You can not define

What you want from me

It is all I want

 

Can I burn the final bridge?

I know I cannot…

It would not just destroy what we had,

But everything I have worked so hard

And so long to attain…

 

It is up to you to decide

Where we will go from here…

I will go away and try to live on,

But can you make up your mind

What is to be...

 

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This poem is really special and the thing makes it so special is the entire way with which you have narrated your entire story so flawlessly.
There's always a sense of innocence in us when we fall for our first love, its the time when anyone would be young and so free from all hardship and even though when our love doesn't succeed...we still keep on holding that person in each and every piece of our heart and that what makes first love so special.

"It would not just destroy what we had,
But everything I have worked so hard" - Loved these lines the most as they are so raw and vivid!


Great work Amanda!

[emmajoy]

This is so sad.. full of deep emotion, hurt..

There are some wonderful phrases here: 'Feeling lifeless and barren�/ Like it never was there,/ Slipping away�' that is heart=breaking.

[Steffi]

There was such a raw feeling to this piece. You present an emotion that thousands feel in such a beautiful and heartwrenching way. You carry us through the piece, starting with a new love that turns cold and the worry that, after they are gone, if its possible to go on.
"Kind words spoken,
Easing both heart and mind,
You helped heal parts of my soul
Those others could not accomplish"

[R J Askew]

You capture a state of mind that millions of people find themselves in. Yet each new time it happens the anguish is as fresh as the first time it happened, whenever that was. And it will go on happening as long as we are human and yearn to be affirmed and loved in the eyes of another.

[THE LOST ROSE]

A very emotional and cry for help type piece. Your writing is seamless. This poem came across like a conversation instead of a poem. I hope you got a response from him? If not move on you are just to deep for him mentally. Despite the pain and the cry for an answer this was a well written poem. Thanks for sharing this part of you.

[Michael X]

Amanda, this loving poem is delicate and reflects the fragile state of wondering in way of the thin line seperating heartbreak in the moment or moving on for future's sake and deciding what's more important
for the sake of peace of mind. knowing whats more important and acting on reason, the reason
to trust a friendship that may falter in the wake of past sufferings, stirring, desirious & beautiful, I loved it

[Sean M. Addams]

very deep piece .... very good job on the flow and imagery you have in this.... made this a really strong piece.... overall nice job on this one..

[With Each Raindrop Come..]

I love this amanda! This has raw emotion to it, keep sending me those read requests!

[Ladysue]

This was so heartfelt and sad. I have to agree with every word Helen said. A piece of writing that is filled with tremedous emotion. A very sad, but good write!

[LlamaLord]

I agree with some of the other reviews. This has pretty raw emotions. I did, however, love the vivid language you kept throughout the piece. With every piece of yours, I feel the emotion you hold, just a little bit more. It's about at the third stanza, when I loose my connection with the piece. Which, by the way, is very nice :) I always enjoy hearing a different story. Thanks for the read!

-Austin