Thoughts of...

...something that just was going around in my head one strange night...

 

 

Thoughts of…

 

In the desperation of things

That cannot be changed,

The walls crash in around me

 

Fears of the unknown,

The anxiety caused by situations

Beyond any careful control

 

In fitful sleep, troubled dreams come

The infinite screams, the terror

Of monsters that everything have become…

 

Swirling wisps of unconscious thought

Past, present and future collide

Becoming one in nonexistence…

 

Mind wandering precariously,

Like walking in a minefield,

Where one misstep can spell the end...

 

The endless freefall into nothingness

Paralyzed by the apathy

Forever lost….

 

 

Author's Note

i hope this makes some sense...it just may be a lot of weird thoughts rambling in my mind, you tell me...AT

Reviews

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Amanda, this is truly a masterpiece...This is indeed so heart heartbreakingly beautiful!
Your choice of words are really brilliant and touched the very core of my heart.
The entire piece flowed beautifully and the imagery at some parts made my mind to read it again and again.....
Though I loved the closing section the most -
"The endless freefall into nothingness
Paralyzed by the apathy
Forever lost�." - They ended the piece so perfectly and there is just a lot of pain in these lines as there is nothing worst in this world than being lost forever....

Great work Amanda, as always :)

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

Very nice work. I wonder why these thoughts were "rambling in your mind". It was very poetic and descriptive. I thought this was one of your more focused writings, but what do I know?

"Swirling wisps of unconscious thought
Past, present and future collide
Becoming one in nonexistence�"

I think this was a beautiful and dizzy look at what I believe is a "pre-comatose" state of being. Possible death, and very sociopathic in your delivery. I didn't feel emotion, only thoughts which made it creepy and cool. Very nice write even though I'm sure that I'm completely off in what you were feeling when writing it.....

[R J Askew]

This cld be the subject of endless philosophical debate on the nature of being, time, what is, what is not. I like 'swirling whisps of unconscious thought' which makes me think of our creativities as I think it is from those swirling whisps that words, lines and poems are formed, much as stars are formed out of the universe's unconscious.

[LlamaLord]

I think this is one of my favorites from all your work. The last stanza...
"The endless freefall into nothingness

Paralyzed by the apathy

Forever lost�."
...was beautiful! Every sentence flowed so well its surroundings. I had visuals when you wrote of the dreams and the free-falling. Great read :) however, this was a bit hard to understand. I think I got it at the end though ;) thanks for the read!

-Austin

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This makes perfect sense... the inner wrestlings with decisions of the past and wonder how much you have learned wondering if it is enough not to repeat the mistakes you have made...

Mind wandering precariously,
Like walking in a minefield,
Where one misstep can spell the end...

this part truly stands out, when you get older you become more aware of how all actions have consequences, even when you think you do right it can be wrong...
I know these kinds of thoughts tend to happen to me more at night as I try to drift off into a subconscious world. A very profound write.

[Ralphy]

I find your poem so well thought out and it shows your deepest feelings. Although, you might find it quite confusing these thoughts are becoming more and more the normalcy because of the reality we were thrust into. Mixing thoughts or let's call them run-on thoughts, collide with both reality and the subconscious.
The reality�.
The lost of employment, higher prices, and being ripped off on retirement. The virtual plunge into a depression�can I afford this, what about my family�this is a normal response. Then add a little nuclear unrest, countries acting as if life means nothing that sends the mind searching for answers. Invoking the subconscious�
Then the subconscious moves in, and starts to calculate life and death, affecting your everyday ritual, causing a person to become fragile, more paranoid and upsets the balance of their normal life. Sensitive to the touch� The result being, questioning the existence, what happens when one died; calculating the feeling of emptiness.
Concluding it depends on each person Matrix, and to find that is to ask the simple question�when is enough �enough. Sometimes the Television should be shut off the limit input but reality still moves forward with or without the input. But it helps us cope.
I wrote the conclusion of mine when I wrote the poem, "the fear of fire", knowing there is no sure way to solve anything we have to accept the most reasonable and build on it.

Well that's my two-cents�

Nice captivating poem�you got me thinking�smile

[emmajoy]

Thoughts, nightmares, restless dreams seem to harness fears then, release them into such dreadful realms. Seems your writing expresses that with really frightening power.. maybe cathartic, who knows.

' Mind wandering precariously, / Like walking in a minefield, / Where one misstep can spell the end... '

Fine, fine post.

[Michael X]

wow amanda, your flow is supurb, and the entire dynamics behind the wording defines the depth and meaning with passion as a view of betrayal overshadowing the heart to the point of surrender,
eloquent and mysterious imagery, magnificent job