I like this one. It draws pictures in the mind...scary. sometimes, simple is the best way to write a poem. sometimes, the experience is poetry all by itself...without the need for fancy words and forms. in my opinion, this was one of those times. well done.
Cheers!
R.G.
I like it, but it seems a bit too simple. I really like the idea, but you could use more description and stuff to convey the feeling more. So I'd go and have a look at that :) I think this has a lot of potential though