The Day

I remember the day you killed me.

You held a gun to my head. 

You told me to be quiet.

You said it was the only way. 

I remember the day perfectly.

It is painted in my head.

It is tattooed to my brain.

I want to forget it.

But I can never forget anything you did. 

You can never forget your Father and all the things he did to you.  

Author's Note

Confusing :/

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

This is my feeling towards religion and the "heavenly father". I read Paradise Lost, and in it the idea is formed that because God controls everything, he ultimately meant for the Fall to happen, and for humans to become sinners and have to die. So, since he meant for it ot happen, he killed us, and then left us to pay for the sin he always meant for us to commit.

Although this poem is simplistic in phrases, as all of your poetry is, this one is so full of metaphor and levels that it can be taken in many different ways. There are so many interpretations of it (most of them probably not at all what you intended) that it is pushed to the top tier of your poems. It could be about literal fathers, God, society, the general idea of a father. It could be about the killing of the spirit, the mind, inspiration, innocence. You say so little, leaving it up to interpretation, that in reality your words speak volumes. Very Hemingway-esque. Good write, my favorite by you by far.

And confusing is a good thing, at least in your poetry. It leaves it up to the reader to create their own meaning. I like that about this.

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

This would make a powerful story my friend.

[knixsilva]

i love it, it kind of reminds me of the novel im in the middle of writing.

[Matthew Kult]

Like the feel, I like the shock factor, the honesty bite to it. I like the flow, it's very natural, but can be amped if desired. Great write.

Matthew

[Jake Staffeld]

Wow. Very dark. The part about being the father threw me for a loop. I was assume it was a bad boyfriend. But I like being thrown for loops, so good job.

[Sukriti Suki]

Dark...so very dark but penned very very nicely.

[halflives]

This is really sad. I was reduced to tears upon reading the last line. Child abuse is an awful thing.

[Solidad]

What I enjoyed most about this piece is that you don't get caught up in you adjectives or become excessively wordy. It is what it is and eloquent in it's simplicity. Good read :)

[Joey Irwin]

It has a very strong story to it.
It's really good and the way that you are speaking from beyond the grave is a great idea :D

[Coyote Poetry]

A poem with a powerful and strong story. Somethings we can't forget. They scar our mind and heart. The poem description was direct and to the point. I like the very strong ending to a excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote