No Air...

 

I am losing all senses.

I can't breathe now.

I try to hold you but you run away.

I am trying to move again.

Trying to feel something that is real. 

I guess my life is finally coming to an end. 

Author's Note

Tacky. Boring. Lame.
Please review though.

Reviews

[Fabric Pulse]

I don't like criticizing at all, and I don't even know if this would be counted as that, but maybe for your poems if you have an issue with them, view these all as practice, your trial ones, develop in them and on the side your own unique voice and style, your stamp. I never used to do rhyming or anything when I first started out, and really you don't have to, poetry is not all about rhymes, but what it is about really is creating yourself how you truly wish to be in this world of paint and pens and paper and words and messages hidden and shown. The grouping of your sentences is basically everything of importance, if it doesn't sound right to you, it might at moments sound slightly uneasy in flow to your readers also, even though we do have a lot of good things to say.

[Chris Smith Welshpoetcs]

The feeling of suffocating inside, good words.

[CharlesMonroe]

Everything you write is amazing, but it's all so sad. ): even though you don't know me, you can message me anytime you ever need to talk (:

[Short.Nerd]

Very good it isn't lame at all. Keep up the good work:)

[Jake Staffeld]

Not tacky boring or lame! I like your style, the darknessin this and others are cool.

[halflives]

NOT LAME AT ALL.
Very good.

[Joey Irwin]

Again...Brilliant.
It's dark and I love it. Short, sweet and gets the point across :)

[Rain]

Your poems arent lame at all. What I find the best thing about your poems are, how you combine little and simple words together and create a whole different deeper meaning.

[Jessi Berlasty]

"I try to hold you(,) but you run away."

[Patches I'm not so new..]

I certianly hope not! Your poems are interesting and entertaining I'd hate to have lost such a talented young poet(ess)