New Infection

Where we stand might as well be alien territory
     it just doesn't feel right but we're here anyway,
     f*****g the crazy out of the world and passing
     on better genes missed out by another year's abortion.

Our thirst changes with the seasons so it'll be a
     requirement that we get new shots, new explanation,
     new infection designed to realign the tracks so our
     biology diverges from the course we fear less.

Institutionalized, constitutionalized, contractually obligated,
     legally binding signatures keep these hands cuffed
     behind our backs until the occasional erosion of
     the chains and they snap.

We can repoison ourselves or we can face that which
     holds us captive, that which was once familiar but
     has alienated us from the existence we once were.
     If you choose, we can betray ourselves to fully become ourselves.

If you can, the who can? It's called a lose, lose,
     lose and in the end it won't matter much more
     to anyone but ourselves so if it didn't matter once before,
     don't pretend it's gonna matter now; so stop pretending.

Reviews

[Julia Ledo]

I really love the near rhyming here for starters. But also the message that's very wrapped up in the words. I envy people who can really bury a meaning in words and require a much deeper reading into the poetry and you do that really well here I think, it took a few read throughs to grasp everything you had squeezed into this economic little space of words. I tend to be pretty black and white with words, but your work is inspiring me to do a little more digging. Loved it.

[Mister_Ryan]

Thank you, I appreciate your in depth analysis on my work. And you've hit the things I pride myself on the most (without trying to sound too arrogant of my own writing, but it's what keeps me writing, the illusion that I'm doing okay; self-induced). I want to do better with my buried messages but you said you'd like to do some digging yourself. If you want to know my trick... write automatically (stream of conscious but more abstract). Don't think about it, it doesn't have to make sense, let it be sloppy, what do you see, what do you hear, taste, all of our senses, what random scene crosses your mind... it doesn't matter how much you write but when you feel it's enough, reflect on your words. It's your subconscious manifested and I feel there's always a message there. Decode your own message, rewrite and use those words you put down but edit, take out put in, and restructure to what you feel fits and might makes sense (subtly) to an outside audience.
Again, thank you for your review.