Something isn't right.

Something just isn't right about me.

Some days I feel like a demigod with a soul overflowing with blessings. Some days I feel like I'm just a walking curse, vexing everyone I meet with disgust towards me. You would think those two moods would go hand-in-hand and even me out, but I can only wish that was the case. The melding of these two attitudes together at once is enough to bring the average mortal to their breaking point. It happens to me on a daily basis, but I seem to manage pretty well. 

I have, more or less, convinced myself a long time ago that I stand out from a lot of people in a quite notable way. But who gives a s**t, right? I came to a grim realization that no matter how "friendly" or "close" you are with someone, they secretly hate you and want you gone as soon as their tired of you. I'm always the one who's left behind...who's made to feel miniscule...the sad little pity party that only has people on his side because they feel sorry for him. This has happened to me so many times that I think that it's a cycle that I don't know how to break. 

All of this has made me develop a deeprooted distrust and (somewhat) hatred towards humans. That hatred causes the frequent swings between hopelessness and god complexity. Either way, it helps me chase away the wrong humans. Some days I like to think humans can be good deep down. Some days I feel like they're all on a mission to erase me from the big picture. 

Something just isn't right with me.