guardian angel

Lives are as insignificant as grains of rice.

I do not know what it’s like to be hungry.

I watch you eat, and in your silent company, I wonder what it must be like to never be full. 

Lives are as permanent as the ice in your glass,

but I know your thirst is only satiated by the thrill of knowing you will live forever.

Brushing past death as though he hasn’t caught your scent, now. 

I watch you eat as though I could tether you to your seat, and know you will live forever too.

and I watch you eat, in your silent company, as though I could stop being hungry too.

An odd punishment for Eve to pay for a bite in the Garden of Eden. 

Eve was just the first tempted by the will she had never asked for.

I’ve seen desire make the righteous ravenous.

Choice has driven them to drink to sensation, each choice closer to the grave.

Lives as short as minutes of time.

I will never save him, so I will always try.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you 

except what is common to mankind. 

And God is faithful; he will not let 

you be tempted beyond what you can bear,” 

and you say it’s all a load of bullshit. 

And I think that it’s telling that I take more comfort than you do.

I watch you eat, and then you look at me. 

I can’t help but look away, praying that you cannot see me if I can’t see you,

if only for a moment.

He can see me anyway--

my thoughts displayed on every part of my body.

And I relish in being seen, if only for a moment,

And he can see every part of my body, 

and I can feel every part of my body.

I am starving, if only for a moment, and

He smiles at me, and I will never be full.

The guardian was given the task of saving the one who did not want to be saved.

If only she had known when she had been handed the apple.

Lives are as long as diners stay open on a Sunday night.

You ask me if I’ll come up for a drink, and I want to be drunk on the thought that we will live like this forever.

I am only supposed to love one thing.

Moving your hand from inevitability and into mine,

we indulge as though we will never eat again.

Silent, breathless company.