the intensity

a disarray of traits to have and things to be

represent me as a fire --

i burn in all different ways.

represent me as a fire --

the higher the flame, the more energy required

hotter and hotter, i’ll burn through a personality

today i’ll have an ambitious, overactive mentality

excitable, sociable, agreeable, maniacal--

today i’ll feel capable, forget that i’m breakable

i’m an overachiever, an overeager dreamer

i can do anything, everything, a better thrill the bigger

unrelentless, unapologetic

i will run til i’m empty.

full of irritability, instability, impulsivity--

full of hyperactivity, unconcerned with staying healthy

i won’t go to sleep because i want to stay this me

i’ll want to be wonderful, while i forget that i’m worn

and i’ll burn, and i’ll burn, and i’ll burn, and i’ll burn, and i’ll burn, and i’ll burn, and i’ll burn--

and it doesn't have to be a huge whirl of wind

it takes just a wisp of chagrin.

and the fire is extinguished.

i wake up the next day undistinguished.

today i’m indifferent.

a fire becomes ashes, and i’m distant,

shy, quiet, no passion.

smaller and smaller. i’m paralytic and passive.

my will to keep going slowly diminished.

writing this stanza’s almost too hard to finish.