Spread Those Wings, Creature

careful, how you let time approach you

I seem to have forgotten 

A whole slew of things about myself 

Metamorphasis, this is?

What mattered yesterday is not today 

What does that make tomorrow? 

What does that make of me? 

I forgot that I liked to write poems

I forgot that I was good at it. 

Wintertime 

Expressing the forgotten 

Forgotten skin 

Forgotten sun 

Forgotten whims 

I forgot that I am a fire

blazing passion, softly seizing 

I forgot that I am abundant 

riotous 

facetious

Wintertime 

when trees lose color so do I 

Metamorphosis

Shedding yesterday 

Not thinking of tomorrow 

Cuz now, 

Velvet saxophone pulses through my room

I write 

because I don't want to forget.

Metamorphosis

Beautiful acquittal. 

stay you there, Yesterday 

you too, Tomorrow  

Right now I am feeling 

this 

I am remembering 

what I forgot

Little pieces of me 

traveling through time 

some lost, some prevailing 

I do not know what is to come 

I shed and step foot after the other 

Hoping lushness and velvet music follows

x, 

from me to you. 

from yesterday to tomorrow. 

from now to then. 

 

Reviews

[emipoemi]

......holy kwap! This is a rollercoaster of emotion that simply delivers and in that it's amazing! The distinct repetitions of "today" and "tomorrow" AND "metamorphosis" hit the ball right over the park - absolutely wonderful! If you don't mind my giving you a couple of suggestions, there are some minor aspects that could use some tweaking:

- "Metamorphosis, this is?" (because of your lack of punctuation throughout the poem, it's hard to determine at first glance, what you're trying to do with the asking of "this is". The expression is known to be "that is", and after a second read, I figured that you're more wanting say "Metamorphosis, what's this?" which to the simple mind of the common folk is not obvious, My suggestion is to take that out, and simply say "Metamorphosis" like you do with the repetitions. It doesn't hurt the flow or the integrity of the poem if you, but it will avoid any scratching heads from anyone else who may read this).

- "I shed and step foot after the other" (Again, because of the lack of the punctuation, better to line break these lines and maybe even consider adding a "one" before "foot" to really clarify your meaning. Even more of a reason to line break them is that "I shed and step" on its own is powerful, and just screams for its own line).

- "from now to then" (this suggestion you don't need to take into consideration as much as the others, for the line is fine as is, but I wonder whether the ending might acquire more power if it ended with a word with a feminine ending AND and a more abstract one at that: "from now to whenever" or something of the sort).

Take these as you may (as mentioned the first two should def be tweaked for poetic purposes, while the third is just to consider). This is overall a fantastic poem of which you should be proud, and I applaud you for it! Well freaking done!