It is a moving poem against abortion (and there are some real corking anti-abortion poems out there).
I thought I'd try my hand at a small response to yours.
I am that screwed up person who was planted with a baby.
My life spirals down the tube and I'll drag you there with me.
I resent you and I hate you, I wish you'd never come.
How many times must I say, NEVER call me mom.
Wow. I want to send this poem. I was expecting a emo teen poem but damn I felt like this a poem about an abortion and unwanted pregnancy. Great job. I'm glad to read this now.
Great emotional poem. It all makes sense in the last stanza. Two things:
1. "I am unborn baby of yours" It needs a "the" between "am" and "unborn".
2. "You are throwing me away like a bottle of wine" I know what you mean behind it, however when I first read it, it made it sound like it was only thrown it to keep and hold the rhyme scheme. Otherwise, it was a great poem :)
What an amazing write. I was confused and was almost going to stop reading it, but something told me that I should continue. And I'm glad I did. "I am the thing you want no more/I am the unborn baby of yours". The brilliance showers upon the reader. Very intense. Very emotional. I love the point of view that this is written from. If I were you, and since this is a very successful piece, I would consider doing a follow-up poem from the mother's point of view. It could contain phrases like "I can't feel you, hold you, love you, heat you/In the sky you frown with eyes so blue/Emotion overcame, abortion too fast/I wish that our relationship could forever last"- like the mother was overcame with emotions and horomones, that she got the abortion without thinking about it, and now regrets it. You can even use that stanza if you'd like, I won't sue you or anything. In fact, I'd be flattered.
Anyways, Afra- in your profile it says "I'm just a normal person with nothing special," But darling, you are something special. This poem should be published immediately.
You could even do it from the father's point of view, with things like "It wasn't my fault," or "I told her not to, my child,". This poem opened up many new oppertunities for you, Afra, indeed.
This was very confusing towards the end there...But then it HIT me in a very pleasing and brilliant way....Such a terrific portrayal of an unborn child...You put excellent emotion and sadness into this poem....Every woman who thinks about not keeping a child and taking on responsibility should definitly read your poem...Great job