GUIDE ME

Wanted a little love, but all I got was hate

Searching for a light, but darkness seems to be my fate

The shadows of darkness have destroyed my life's light

My pillows are soaked with tears every night

I try to win, but I am losing this unending game

From outside I am smiling, but inside I don't feel the same

Emptiness caught my body and my soul

Love is just creating a dark hole

I look in the mirror just to find a smile

But disappointed throughout my life

My smile has become my silent pain

And now I am wishing that those good times could happen once again

The more I live the more I know

That all my dreams are burred under the snow

That came from those cold hearts

Who love to tear my wishes apart

I am tired of pretending I just want to be me

When will this detention be over? I want to be free

Cause this is hurting the way deep

If this is a nightmare want to end this sleep

My mind just keep replying those special movements

But my feelings are getting worse it does not cause improvement

Alone I am shaking with the fright

In these sleepless lonely nights

Can't you see my frown

Oh God! please look down

Tell me that I am wrong

My destiny is not far long

I am looking at the sky please guide me

Reviews

[Matty Bosox]

Now this is what I would expect from a writer of your talents!!! Terrific in every sense of the word....Your lengthy lines are very meaningful and remain in terrific rythym....This is actually what "IT PAINS" should've been more like....This seems like a hyped up, supercharged version of that poem which seemed like a quickly written, poor showing, bland version of your excellent talent....Good job Afra

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Extremely great...oh. So dark and sad and...empty. You touched my heart. I find I can relate to this all too much....I'm tearing up! Very impressive, I love this.

[afra]

thank u and hope u get better soon

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

yeah. yeah me too. Thank you for this poem.

[afra]

=)

[Morrigan Nicole]

Very deep and dark, a poem about showing, clearly, the desperation you feel.desperate for understanding, love, assistance, and maybe forgiveness, even though you might have done nothing wrong. I am currently in a state similar to this, but for different reasons, asking for forgiveness, though I know I have not caused the problem, or seeking an apology, even, to make it a little easier to cope.

A great poem indeed, the rhyme scheme was consistant, and impacting on the meaning.

Well done.

[Amanda]

I really really love this poem. I like the emotions and it very much appeals to me

[afra]

thank you

[♥ Lexii Boo &hea..]

ONCE AGAIN AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OPPS SORRY DIDN'T REALIZE CAPS LOCK WAS ON OH WELL IT GIVES IT EMPHASIS lolz i am such a dork but i love this

[afra]

thank u again

[Ceri]

I would suggest "searching for a light, but darkness is my fate", and just noticed it should be "got" in the first line, not "get", to be super picky. I like this stanza, "The more I live the more I know/That all my dreams are burred under the snow/That came from those cold hearts/Who loves to tear my wishes apart", just change the "loves" to "love", purely a technicality, but nevertheless distracting. Other than that, great direction and I look forward to reading more of your poetry. :)

[afra]

thanks again ....i will edit this one too

[Ceri]

You're welcome afra