THE PAIN I HIDE

pI'll lock my tears in my eyes,
i won't show my pain,
i will hide my tears in the rain,

you never know the things which you should know,
i should feel the pain which i don't like to show ,

I'll bury my sorrows inside my chest ,

I won't tell any one what i am going through ,

cause the people who love me so ,
will always know ,
about the pain i hide and the pain i show ,

Reviews

[GunMetal]

There's a rogue p on your first line. I also notice that some of you're "I"s are capitalized intermittently. My suggestion is to stay consistent with capitalization.

Sometimes we hide our burdens, we're transparent to the ones we matter to. Good write.

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Deep, deep, deep ... a little sad but deep ! Great pathos all over the poem, the whole poem is FULL of pathos, in every single verse ;)
Great job !

[Pax]

Everybody has to hide something, i think that what makes us human, so your not alone. Nice poem.

[Btwixer]

very well written, like the rhyme scheme

[BLACK PRINCE]

I guess sometimes we all hide a lot of pain
because we believe that others will never understand.
Sometimes we open up to the wrong people.
But when we open up to the right people
we feel a weight lifted.

WELL DONE!!!!

[Lindsay T]

A simple & descriptive poem, I like it :) My favorite line was definitely "I won't show my pain, I will hide my tears in the rain." Wow, that's really beautifully written and an extremely creative idea! Good work, keep it up :)

I do have a suggestion, but you might not agree with it. Your poem is really dramatic and I feel like the last line should be drawn out a bit more. I think something like this...

Cause the people who love me so,
Will always know,
About the pain I hide

and the pain
I show

Just an idea, and again, you might not agree. Anyways, great job! I really like it.

[Jordan A. Wilson]

I don't like to show emotion that much either. nice work.

[Emrys Realmskip]

Beautiful! i Love this. i relate to it a lot! =)

[allie_arrowz]

people turn to hiding their pain a lot, because it's easier i think.
but it just makes everything worse.
nice flow of thoughts and rhyme

[Harley (arbiter)]

Good write but uhh is that p supposed to be there? Great though because this is true we do hide our true selves and most of our problems from the ones who care. Great write