THAT GIRL

I see a girl who is only fourteen

Have you ever wondered where her smiles have been?

Did you ask why she bleeds tears?

Can't you see she is drowning with fears

Every day she wakes up her dreams die

You called her a liar 

Never asked why she had to make up lies

I face her every day

She wishes to die

How can I see which no one else can see

Only cause that girl is me

Reviews

[Pencrafter]

Your poem is emotional and touching, conveying the fears and uncertainty of growing up. The only thing I might suggest (and it's no big deal, really) is to alter slightly the last two lines. They might read 'How can I see what no one else can see. Only because that girl is me.' Or not. It's a fine poem.

[Destinyxi]

Very emotional poem, very heartfelt as usual, good write!

[Brittany]

Ah...self-portrait. Pain could not exist without joy. Evil cannot exist without good. May I encourage you to write a second self-portrait about the good things?

[afra]

yes if u want

[teddy]

aaaammmmmaaazzzziiinnnggg ..lol.... its amazing

[Perfect Mistake]

Simply amazing! I love when people write in a third person POV and then at the end admits that its yourself. Great work :3

[kayla]

Wow. This is great.

[Matty Bosox]

WOW!!! WOW!!! WOW!!! I cannot believe such emotion and energy can come from such a short set of words...I feel like I was just bombarded by an army of amazing words and overcoming emotions....This is what I am talking about Afra!!! When you show your shine you blind me!!!! Absolutely stunning in every way!!

[afra]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeee thank youuuuuuu

[Tomi]

Very Emotional Piece, very Sad.....Excellent writing! No one really knows who we are.. all they see is what we let them see..Great job!

[afra]

thanks

[Beck Louise]

Really emotional. A few minor grammar errors but nothing major. Great poem, well done :)

[Peaceworker22]

Very well written, but I think that "which" could be substituted with "what". Still, the emotions are definitely there. This seems like it's a good start to a song as well, I can already hear Amy Lee singing this. Beautiful work!

[Aehr]

i love the emotion, the rhyme scheme is good... and the whole poem is kinda sad.. but very well done!