I'LL END UP WITH A BLADE

Graves of memories are present inside my soul

Hopes are drowning through the scars and holes

Which are made by the arrows of lies

Every day I wake up to watch my dreams die

I cover myself with a smile

And show that I am fine

Life is moving fast

But I am still living in the past

Maybe I am too slow

Or maybe I am against the flow

When your life becomes a lie

How can you not wish to die

As I watch all my dreams fade

I know I'll end up with a blade

Reviews

[GunMetal]

"may be i am to slow ,
or may be i am against the flow ," - to should be too. And maybe is one word. If you stick with "may be," is becomes an incomplete sentence. "It may be that I am too slow," would be correct, for example.

"graves of memories are present inside my soul" - Great first line!
The title alone is pretty frightening and speaks volumes. Keep working on your craft. You show a lot of potential.

[The Pain Stays Fresh]

This is a huge contrast to your other poem I'll Rise Soon. Very dark and depressing. I love the words and phrases you use, but I still think it needs some punctuation.

[Laura Maidah]

Maybe "Memory graves are present in my soul".
It cuts verbosity. The last couplet is infallible. It's the crux of the vignette, and it's well-executed.

[Celestial Witch Child]

Eerie and powerful.

[khalid]

sad but nicely written i hav really enjoyed reading it..it reflects how many people feel in this life..but really life is not that easy to g through.

thank you for writing, posting and sharing

khalid

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

So sad. Excellent.

[schnickythep]

Very good and very dark.. I like the anger and the tone.

[Wild Willow Blue]

Very dark. Emotional.

[V.J.C.]

This is a nice poem with a dark message of some of the feelings in life. There had been times in my life where i can very well relate to this poem. Thank you for the read.

[None]

The rhyming in this is perfect. Great work. I wonder what would happen if you inverted some of the lines that rhyme: "I am still living in the past/ but life is moving fast." Just a thought. All in all, this is well done.

[Boy of the red]

Amazing use of imagery