I'LL END UP WITH A BLADE

Graves of memories are present inside my soul

Hopes are drowning through the scars and holes

Which are made by the arrows of lies

Every day I wake up to watch my dreams die

I cover myself with a smile

And show that I am fine

Life is moving fast

But I am still living in the past

Maybe I am too slow

Or maybe I am against the flow

When your life becomes a lie

How can you not wish to die

As I watch all my dreams fade

I know I'll end up with a blade

Reviews

[GunMetal]

"may be i am to slow ,
or may be i am against the flow ," - to should be too. And maybe is one word. If you stick with "may be," is becomes an incomplete sentence. "It may be that I am too slow," would be correct, for example.

"graves of memories are present inside my soul" - Great first line!
The title alone is pretty frightening and speaks volumes. Keep working on your craft. You show a lot of potential.

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we know the ending before the game had begin. A powerful poem with a lot of thoughts to ponder. Sometime a blade or bad situation is out end. I tell people have some fun first. Pain and death are come. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[MadiKay]

This is very well written. It's very emotional and I can tell it comes from your heart. You let your emotions pour out onto this page and it tied it all together. It's very haunting. Nice job.

[Aehr]

emotional... loved it!

[Barbara Walker]

Maybe I am too slow
or maybe, i am against the flow...my favorite lines in this piece. You do need to use punctuation! I harp on that a lot!

[♥ Lexii Boo &hea..]

i know some people can relate to this and i am one of them i know what you are talking about in this piece such as the emotion and hurt but i want you to know if you need someone to talk to i am here for you and this is a great write!

[luna11]

This one needs punctuation, too :D
But it's very well written.
Dark, emotional.. i love it. xD
x

[nigrum homonculus]

very dark. its pretty good.

"When your life becomes a lie
How can you not wish to die"

pretty much sold it for me. good work!

[shawlyn]

Hi afra,
Dark, emotional, chilling. You have captured all of this. Well written.
Regards
Shawlyn

[Corset]

I love the last two lines, not because they sound downcast, but quite the opposite to me, it says to me, I am down ,my dreams are gone but i'll come up fighting for new dreams, I will forge the path with my blade and I will prevail! :) i love it.

[Olivia Marie]

I think that the first line is the best line. Absolutely amazing! However the ending has the potential to knock one into the state of despair you are in. It is good, however I feel that there's something that could be added to make that who thing end with much more impact.