BAD DREAM

I know its not that good ...just random stuff that come in my mind

Tears started falling from my eyes like rain

Pain started running through my every vein

As soon as the police officer told me about your death

I keep asking the officer to tell me that its not true

That my husband has died

But his reply broke my heart into two

My world was fallen apart

As soon as I realized that you are no longer with me

Never knew our love story would have this part

If I knew this was our last goodbye

I would never let you go

Why did you leave me alone , please tell me why?

Just then I woke up

And  you were  sleeping next to me

And I realized that it was just a bad dream

Reviews

[Beck Louise]

This is so cute in a really strange way haha great :)

[afra]

thank you

[A Soap Mess Stories]

I can feel the pain in these words...just wish my situation was just a bad dream....

[afra]

awww i am sorry to hear that ....thanks

[Ama May Cooper]

Ouch a shocking and sweat inducing dream by far.
I feel your rhyme felt a little forced, almost like you tried to place in it as more of an effect than that it flowed, and the flow was very hard to feel throughout.

The story is strong , and clear, the emotions very well presented.

"My world was fallen apart" Something about this line feels wrong to me, the way it sounds, or the wording im not sure, the was feels out of place for some reason.

[quixotic_rose]

Awe! that's a terrible dream! I've had one like that before except it wasn't a husband it was my sister. And I'm glad I woke up! Whew, had me in suspense and sorrow for a second before you turned it all around. Nice work :)

[afra]

thanks

[Skye]

Okay, I would be the type of person that have a dream like this, and wake up crying. Its so well written and beautiful, I'm glad everything turned out alright.

[afra]

thank you

[Whiskurz]

I'm glad the ending turned out like it did......Well penned my friend......Whisk

[afra]

thank you ....

[mariah]

ugh, what a terrible dream to have! good job, i always love reading your poetry :P
-Mariah

[afra]

awww thank you dear

[mariah]

:P Ya welcome!

[Stabitha]

Interesting form, the three line stanza. Why did you choose it, Aphra?

I really like the theme - I think most people experience dreams of loss and bereavement and they are galling, which you convey well here.

[afra]

thank you

[Arik]

I like it, I love it when poetry is relate-able and I can understand that scare as I have had my fair share of truly depressing nightmares like that.

[afra]

thank you

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

I like it :) not bad at all, maybe needs some editing, but all in all it's great!

[afra]

thank you