BAD DREAM

I know its not that good ...just random stuff that come in my mind

Tears started falling from my eyes like rain

Pain started running through my every vein

As soon as the police officer told me about your death

I keep asking the officer to tell me that its not true

That my husband has died

But his reply broke my heart into two

My world was fallen apart

As soon as I realized that you are no longer with me

Never knew our love story would have this part

If I knew this was our last goodbye

I would never let you go

Why did you leave me alone , please tell me why?

Just then I woke up

And  you were  sleeping next to me

And I realized that it was just a bad dream

Reviews

[writingurl14]

This is really good! I really like it :) Great job!

[Celestial Witch Child]

I like the idea. I think what I would really love to see is a version of this without rhyming.

[Laura Maidah]

Terror is well captured. I hate nightmares. Pretty epic

[外人 (Gaiji..]

It isn't good?! I can't wait to see what's good for you, so !! I loved this poem, I read the very first verse I got shivers !!! The metrica is nice, the structure cool, the rhyme original (started like AAB and continued like ABA), the sound is superb as always and thank you, THANK YOU for giving it a happy ending, just for a change !!! xD I know you can be optimist sometimes ! =D

[~Sara~]

Thank god it was just a dream, :b great job! this had suspence and i loved it, :) great job!

[Chantel]

Heartbreaking....good thing it was a dream...you captured that well, first the horror of thinking that it happened, then, after waking, relief, but also fear....good job, a great piece.

[Debbie_Philly]

Oh ... a very scary dream indeed !! :( Nice piece !!!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

intense poem, even though it was short...

great work

[Pencrafter]

With so many good reviews, what can I say?
With writing poetry is where you should stay.
Simple lines and sentences are usually best.
So don't be too stressed about all the rest.

[afra]

awwww thanks

[Barbara Walker]

My world had fallen apart,
as soon as I realized that you were no longer with me
and
If I had known that this was our last goodbye,
I would never have let you go
are grammatically correct.
You don't need the "Just" and the extra "and" in the last stanza.
Then, I woke up,
you were sleeping next to me
and I realized that it was a bad dream.
Nice write and glad it was a dream or should I say nightmare?

[afra]

yes you can say it a nightmare ...and thanks