BLIND

Today I saw a blind person at the mall ... and, when I came home this poem came in my mind

I am lost in the darkness  

Searching for a light 

Trying to find a way to end this night 

All my smiles have been lost in the dark 

The wounds of mistakes always leave their mark 

Darkness has captured my heart and soul 

I am walking alone and I know that I am scared

Oh God give me pain which can be bared 

Sometimes I trip, sometimes I fall 

But no one seems to hear when I call 

I wash my face,rub my eyes 

But I can't see a thing as hard as I try 

But then the voice of people passing by 

Help me  remind 

"watch out that guy is blind"

Reviews

[Dean Kuch®]

If Robert Bloch or Alfred Hitchcock had been poets , they would have surely written something like this! Always that eye opening and gut wrenching "TWIST" at the end that makes their works so intriguing.
You pulled that off with this one for me. And, if you'll pardon the pun, I didn't even SEE it coming!

[Shay]

This is great especially how u make clear the emotions and the wording is well done

[Aehr]

you feel people's emotions. that's excellent. This poem is wonderful...

[Keith]

This piece gave me a little tidbit of the taste of blindness. I can not even imagine how a day to day life would be.

These did not work for me.
Help me remind (Maybe "Help me with their remind" )
"watch out that guy is a (maybe remove the "a". It flows better for me without it) blind"
I hope this helps

All in all, nice work, Afra

[afra]

i will change it right away ...thank you

[Keith]

You're welcome :)

[Mir]

This was very nicely written! The last stanza was definitley the best, in my opinion!

[afra]

thank you

[poeticpiers]

inspiration comes in many guises. anything can bring a poem to mind.
I like the simplicity of presentation

[Kianna L. Bearden]

This is beautiful and so, so true. We never stop and think about what it's like for others anymore...

[Chantel]

Very good job. So good and thoughtful of you to imagine what it must be like for a blind person. I hadn't really thought much about the actual feelings of it, just how sad it would be and how it would make things harder and just be all-around miserable. But you added a whole new dimention to this with symbolism, more into the thoughts. Well done.

[Pax]

this is really nice, the flow and rhyme fits really well. well done.

[Mercelus]

i can really relate to this. much to often people are blind to those in need, those who cry for help. it is a sad, sad thing to witness.

excellent job.

[Jazique]

Interesting, well typed on a topic that comes to mind. I mean blind even when studying for my driving I've r people should always stop for them. Anyways well done.