Illusion

I try so hard to become

Someone new in order to be

Accepted by all and also

To be accepted by my biggest critic

Myself.

 

I elude myself of being

The way I have been

All my life when doing things

I never considered wrong

Because it always felt right.

 

When I got to know the world

Better than I knew it then

I became fearful

Of what would become

Of me with my attitude

Belonging to the outskirts

Of an ignorant society.

 

Now that I have what I want

I will not loose it to anything

Especially the curse

That so happened to be

My own dilemma of the mind

Of the body and of the heart.

 

I prefer to blend

Into this prejudicial mixture

And never be identified

As a deviant in order to

Preserve my life and more so

My dignity.

 

I try so hard to become

Someone new…

I try so hard I cry.