POV: Hers and His

a girl's sentiments and a boy's response

 

She:

 

 

A spell must have clouded your judgment of beauty,

mistaking a pebble for a diamond

or wits abandoned you

and I am but an error in your essay of experiences.

 

Pardon my quest for logic;

I am not accustomed to being

the subject of someone’s romantic interest.

 

 

**********

He:

 

 

You are dwarfed by your insecurities

and ill-defined by the mirrors of your demons.

 

Oh, how I’d love to lend you my eyes

that you may perceive your essence,  

intimately elaborated by the extent of my love.

Author's Note

This is what you get by watching romantic movies featuring a woman with poor esteem and a man proving her perceptions wrong. Contrary to what I've written, I'm not going to wait for a man to show me my worth.

Hmm... I should stick to the habit of watching tragedy-themed films.

Reviews

[Kasey Miriam]

These point of views are generally right on the money! Very well written and beatifully done!

[Bowers]

wow, this is beautiful, the prospective of both the male and the female individual, such a wonderful creative write. I've never before seen a poem quite like this, and the difference is incredible, and extremely effective. I admire your words here, the message, the idea behind this piece. a romantic piece, may be contrary to your usual writes, but I think I'd like to see more of this from you, I love your work either way, but what you've done here... it so intriguing.!!! :D CHEERS TO YOU!

[Joe_VILOT_]

yes indeed
and I glimpsed a mirror darkly and loh! a sight it was to see for was it a darkly mirror or was the darkness in me.
yet I looked again and the darkness was gone it was a sight to behold the malignant cloud that had been there always was nothing more then will o' wisps and so jolly I then came to be ho ho ho ho he he he!!!...


And that's a wrap

(superb)

[Eric Pudalov]

Aww...this is absolutely sweet (and exceptionally well-written, if I do say so myself) Blue!! The first two lines, "A spell must have clouded your judgment of beauty/mistaking a pebble for a diamond," speak volumes.

I'm such a huge fan of beautiful imagery in poems that also has depth and meaning. I also enjoyed the last few lines, particularly "Oh, how I'd love to lend you my eyes/that you may perceive your essence." There are several women I've wanted to say this to (or actually have) - not in so many words, but you get the idea.

Even if this isn't based on your personal beliefs, it definitely sums up a lot of those romantic movies! Funny, my wife and I were watching "She's All That" the other day. This poem is like a companion piece to that movie!!

[Tate Morgan]

There are 3 ways we are percieved The ways others see us The way we see ourselves and the way we truly are

[Rogie-Dodge]

One's own sense of self worth is the most important. It is the filter through which we see other's opinions of us. Whatever sense of self worth we have, we can't believe or accept opinions of others to the contrary. It often takes a lot for someone else to help you improve your own sense of worth, but ultimately it is something you have to do yourself, you have to want it for yourself, and no one can do it for you no matter how hard they try. The problem is when your sense of self worth is so low that you don't even want it to be better because you don't think you deserve it. I've been there.

[Eddie Davis]

The concept of a person's worth is purely arbitrary -- based on what either the person thinks of him or herself, or else what value another person places in someone else. But these values are usually too low or too high. Sadly, women are usually so dependent on a man's approval that failure to win a man's approval makes a woman feel worthless. That really upsets me, because there are millions of beautiful, talented women who let men walk all over their self-worth. I do, however, like to see men who encourage a woman's self-worth -- not in how she relates to him or fills his needs, but in how she is as an individual.

So I like this guy in your poem, Blue, at least he is encouraging her, as long as he can do so without just focusing on her appearance.

[Blue]

Thanks for sharing your insights, Eddie. You got a good point.

[Nusquam Esse]

I like the theme here, I often get pretty suspicious when people try to act sweet with me; I generally assume they have an ulterior motive==and I am usually right. ;) In any case, I like the simple but effective structure here, and the way that you presented it here (the differing alignment). Two main things stand out to me. #1 Your 3rd line, "or wits abandoned you" doesn't seem to flow well, I am assuming this is because it is significantly shorter than the other lines, practically half the syllable-count of the following line. I suggest expanding it, or perhaps taking parts of line 4 and merging them into it. and #2 On your final line, I think you meant "OF my love", if not, you at least need a comma or something.

[Blue]

About "of my life". Yes, you are right, Nusquam. I don't get it but sometimes a preposition gets omitted from what I've originally written. Thanks for being as meticulous as always.

[Sami Khalil]

I like how you take themes even from movies and weave a wonderful poem on that. I like this one a lot...Bravo...............

[Blue]

Thanks, Sami. I believe we get inspiration from a lot of things.

[Sami Khalil]

Yep. You are welcome...:).........................