You say... I say...

Heed my words.

You say

 

your eyes are shaded boring brown,

unkindled by the fire

that renders men weak with just a glance.

 

I say

 

your eyes are beatific brown,

vessel of virtues

and wisdom beyond your years.

 

 

You say

 

your lips are unkissed by eloquence

and you wish you were graced

with the luxury of speech.

 

I say

 

your lips are a rarity in this world,

conceiving expressions

cautioned by conscience.

 

 

You say

 

your face is unsightly and unpronounced,

mirroring no symmetry

of women in beauty magazines.

 

I say

 

your face is a sculpture of uniqueness,

shaped by the Artist’s skilled hands

--a visage of Himself.

 

Author's Note

No, seriously... This is a love poem I wrote for ME. Some of you might have noticed my unhealthy habit of berating myself. When you compliment me, I counteract with a "but". When you raise me up, I find reasons to negate you. You see, I am not comfortable in my own skin. That's why I decided (lately) to do things that will make me learn to love myself. I thought a poem might be a good starting point. Here, I sort of argued with my inner voice and attempted to see myself in fresh lenses--exaggeratedly so. ;)

So let's celebrate my narcissism and allow me to shine.

For now. ;)

Reviews

[Bowers]

Yes! How you speak the words Ive wished to for years! Im so happy you've found a way to learn to love yourself, it gives hope to us who do not! :) This was another great poem, the vocabulary you've chosen greatly enhanced the piece, the whole acceptance Idea... I admire that in your works! Great Write!!!

[I Am Svetlana]

Hm...I loved the idea you came up with here. And what I thought of was that this poem was a lot like standing in front of a mirror and telling these things aloud to yourself, so you could hear and accept them. It's not easy for certain people to take compliments and believe them when others present them, but the only way to successfully love others is to love ourselves. I've known people who are self-conscious of whenever they get compliments and they don't understand how I can just be so confident in myself. The world is bound to say things you don't want to hear, but along down the road, they will say good things that are unexpected and might throw you off, perhaps even make you uncomfortable, but it's the only way to learn that you are becoming accepted and seen in a positive light by those around you...

[Matthew Bosko]

The best love is self love...

Okay, let me explain that more...

I love your poetry, it isn't constrained to a certain format and even challenges the genre's traditional means. It's amazing how we may see the reflection of ones self. I love your work Blue, look forward to scrolling through past entries and seeing new ones as they come.

[Blue]

Chuckling here. When you said that you love my poetry, it gave me the impression that you have read some of my works when you have befriended me just recently. Haha. Thanks, anyhow. It's nice to hear that from a writer with a style I admire.

[Eric Pudalov]

Hey Blue! I'm glad that you offered an explanation in the Author's Note there, because I initially thought that the two different voices in the poem were two different people.

Although writing a love poem to yourself is an excellent idea! (Perhaps one that I might steal.) As usual, I really adore the language that you've used in this poem, in particular this verse:

"Your eyes are beatific brown,
vessel of virtues
and wisdom beyond your years."

I also particularly like (and relate to) the final verse, and in some of the "I say" verses, because they're not only written as if you were talking to yourself, but as if God is talking to you. I'm reminded of Genesis 1:27 - "So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them." I think that it's a verse we repeat so much, that the true meaning eludes us.

Your poem has captured that forgotten meaning, I believe. See, I don't only review your sexy poems! ;-)

[Nusquam Esse]

My my, writing love poems to yourself! I fear for you, for under such a burden, you might just snap. ;) I tease of course, it is an interesting idea to be sure; and it doesn't seem that narcissistic, unless you wrote this while captivated with your reflection? Probably not something I will be doing anytime soon though. I find that my own weaknesses that I loath can become some of my most poignantly piercing words. So I embrace them, because I love writing about unrelenting darkness. It is odd having strong self-esteem when you loathe yourself, but I'm no standard fare. If it means less competition, then I can accept this idea of yours. Come on girl, start shining! Make people appreciate the beauty of the world, so that my ax in the frozen lake can be all the more crushing. MWHAHAHAHAH!

[Blue]

You sound weird today. Haha.

[Nusquam Esse]

oh... ouch....

[Blue]

No, wait... :) It sounds like you're having a great day. Not your usual 'quite formal' self. I found it odd you didn't correct this poem. What's up? ;)

[Nusquam Esse]

hahahaha! right! Umm, it is going to sound boorish, but I really want to eat some pizza, I had like 5 dreams about it last night, and now that I am awake I would murder for some. And yet the pizza place doesn't open for another 5 hours! Hahaha, I keep trying to write this one story/poem idea, but I have been continually waylaid by my lust. >_> this is one of my most hilariously pathetic reasons for being useless at writing. As for no corrections, I didn't notice any blatant typos... ;)

[Nusquam Esse]

wait... I am supposed to be 'quite formal'... ummm... "How fare ye on this auspicious occasion?"

[Blue]

Haha. 5 dreams about pizza?? How crazy is that!!! :P I dream normal dreams, man! Work. School. Life decisions. Catastrophies. Sex. Family. No food. :P

[Blue]

No worries. I greatly enjoy this side of you. ;)

[Sami Khalil]

Love, hate relationship to the self. Now that is so relatable and affecting on so many people. Bravo..................

[Clara]

I love this and the maturity of your write.
I liked how you contrasted the 'old' and the 'new' perceptions of you.
It's not narcissistic at all, it's self-assuring.
After all, if we do not love ourselves -- how will we love others?

Wonderful write.

[Eddie Davis]

I'm a firm believer in a balanced and honest view of one's self. Few people really master this, sadly. Most loathe themselves or parts of themselves and they wear this loathing like an albatross around their necks. Others think so highly of themselves that no one wants to get near them.

The wise person is the one who has a balanced view of him or herself.

Blue, I think in your situation, you started with an inferiority complex, but when you posted your stuff here and everyone loved your stuff and told you how wonderful you are (and you are indeed wonderful), this conflicted with your own sense of worth and led to a sort of identity crisis. Perhaps you feel it is shameful to be proud of something you accomplished.

The truth is, there is no shame in taking pride in what you've done or who you are, as long as what you do and the reason you do it are not just for your benefit. What I mean is this: If you post something here to Writer's Cafe, and people love it and comment on it, and this makes you feel happy, that is a wonderful and good thing. Your work is making other people happy and bringing them joy and pleasure.
I think this is your reason for sharing your gift with the world. Yes, people compliment you (and they should), but they are getting pleasure out of reading your work, so you are giving as well as receiving. Your poems and stories are like a transaction: You give them to us to savor and read and we give you praise for your skill and craftsmanship. So don't let people's praise freak you out, they won't give it if they don't feel it is deserved. And it is indeed deserved.

[Tom]

Yes indeed, accentuate the positive and minimise the negative is always a surefire winning formula!

A captivating little piece of contrasting metaphoric humility and inner self belief, imaginatively and delightfully woven together, you are a gifted person Blue, in every concievable way!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I believe I was in front of a mirror...
when I read this verse...
just the mere way its design ---
reflects back that of your opposite...
the lines are drawn in that order...
yet for more effectiveness...
I would of wrote this in reverse dialogue...
really put a touch on things --- with the number...