A Play Gone Wrong

Once upon a time, when you and I first met,

the plot unfolded and the stage play was set.

Characters were cast; you dressed up as a knight

to sweep me off my feet…to make everything all right.

 

 

Curtains were held up, revealing lovestruck teens

in classic costumes to act the classic scenes.

Chapters passed with script memorized in grace,

effortless exchange of kisses…the best of all our days.

 

Yet somewhere in the middle, the plot changed unannounced.

You shed off your armors; princely character you’ve renounced.

Frozen in the center with the spotlight struck on me,

I watched you go and thought, “This is not how it should be…”

Author's Note

This has been stuck here, unpublished, because I've been cautious lately when it comes to the final output. Also, I didn't mean this to be monotonously 'iambic' and there are parts here which I intended to be read in a slower pace...

The three stanzas represent three acts in a play. But I'm thinking this should have been longer 'cause it seems incomplete. What do you think?

Thanks a lot.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Great metaphorical references in describing love gone wrong and a broken heart. Very nicely done.

[Blue]

Thanks, Dale! I hope you don't look as furious as the one in the picture. ;)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You are welcome… oh no, that was just me after getting my hair done. LOL

[Lydia Shutter]

I don't think this is incomplete at all. I liked the rhythm and rhyme and the story told through metaphor was a good one. However, there is an old Dutch expression that says, "In the stageplay of life, no one is given a program." and that is so true. Even if we think something "should" turn out a certain way, we can not control fate, can we? Good write. Lydi**

[Blue]

Yes, we can't control fate... I just based the "should" in how fairytales usually turn out. ;) Thank you so much for sharing your insights, Lydia.

[Cryingkate]

This is perfect as she is.

Your inner self was recording the incompleteness just as it should be, Because the theme of the story was about an abrupt incompleteness " the plot changed unannounced"

You did it perfect subconsciously.. actually you were unaware it was a soul like consciousness act.

[Blue]

Thank you so much, Kate! Cute picture, by the way. :)

[Cryingkate]

Sorry, I forgot to mention I really like this poem a lot, I'm not very good at doing reviews wish I could of done better for you. thanks about pic :-=)

[Blue]

No worries! And about the reviews, I think you are doing just fine! At least it's not a one-liner. Yours are pretty constructive and encouraging. Your welcome, anyway.

[Blue]

*You are welcome, anyway.

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad ending to the play. Nice set-up for a fairytale ending and you made it a real life one. The good description allowed the reader to know and feel the emotion. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Blue]

It's always an honor to be reviewed by you, Coyote. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

It my pleasure and honor to read your work.