How to Waste Your Life

It's surprisingly easy!

Do you constantly find yourself

in a disappointing war

between good and evil?

Is your bookshelf

crowded with books and magazines

that promise formula

of success and happiness?

Are you tired of being in a routine

filled with attempts

to be a better version of yourself?

Cheer up!

This will be of no help to your woes.

This won't be added to your yawning collection

of self-help literary jewels.

In fact,

this is exactly what you DON'T need.

Below are the rubbish ideas that might be useful

in case you decide to stray away

from the path of sainthood...

Dwell in the past.

There is no better place to call home

than the glory of ancient days.

Squander your time.

Spend it on worthless, unproductive activities.

Commit yourself to vices:

smoking, gambling, drugs, sex...

The options are endless.

Make it a priority to be rude at all times.

(Innocents are particularly entertaining victims.)

And mean your insults for maximum impact.

Find fault in everyone

and never miss an opportunity to point it out.

Elaborate to extremes

the sins of those who have wronged you.

Resolve to never ever forgive them.

Carefully plan out how to make their lives

as miserable as possible.

Develop a mantra of pessimism all throughout the day.

Think negative thoughts as often as you breathe:

"I am ugly."

"I am not good enough."

"I am a huge failure."

Punctuate your sentences with curses.

The more offensive, the better.

Swear words don't exist for nothing.

Claim that the universe is yours to command.

Kneel to  no one.

Defy government.

Break laws.

Hate humanity.

Disrespect your parents.

Think of yourself and yourself alone.

Self-worship is the new trend.

Never have a purpose for living.

Those who set goals for themselves

had nothing better to do with their lives.

Be aimless and reckless.

Manipulate people.

Deceive them with an angelic facade and earn their trust.

Love should never be in your vocabulary.

Fun lies in breaking hearts.

Get obsessed over material things.

Accumulate ridiculous wealth

and reach the zenith of financial success.

Money is the root of all evil, they say.

Prove them right.

Conceive a religion of your own making

and create a multitude of disciples.

Make earth a hellish place to live in.

Venture to the world of carefree pleasures.

Be shamelessly and unforgivably bad.

Apologize for nothing.

Master the art of wasting your life.

After all, being bad is easy.

Being good poses an unreasonable challenge.

Why make life harder than it already is?

Author's Note

I assume you know better believe in me. Haha.

(I know this is prose. I just like this structure.)

Reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I must say, reverse psychology is an effective approach for you have mentioned already the possible outcomes of those negative behaviors/acts.

Well-done, AJ!

[Blue]

Right, you are! Haha. Thank you, Ate.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're welcome. BTW, nice avatar. Keep that smile. =)

[Blue]

Thank you, Ate. I will.

[emmajoy]

'Below are the rubbish ideas that might be useful ~ in case you decide to stray away ~ from the path of sainthood..'

Laughing but, with raised eyebrows Not quite sure if you advocate naughty goings on or cautious ones. Think it's time for me to read the above very well worded prose poetry or whatever AND, come down in the middle of perfection and normality .. that is, being as good as can be without destroying the urge to live a little! You've certainly covered most problems, and in very fine English! Like the format/structure too. Neat!

[Blue]

I'm not advocating evil. I just want people to know that if they're doing the above acts, then they are wasting their lives. I'm experimenting with style these days and I find this one quite hilarious. Writers often write about how to make life better but nobody really takes them that seriously. Haha. Anyway, thank you so much, Emma! Pleased to know you like this.