How to Waste Your Life

It's surprisingly easy!

Do you constantly find yourself

in a disappointing war

between good and evil?

Is your bookshelf

crowded with books and magazines

that promise formula

of success and happiness?

Are you tired of being in a routine

filled with attempts

to be a better version of yourself?

Cheer up!

This will be of no help to your woes.

This won't be added to your yawning collection

of self-help literary jewels.

In fact,

this is exactly what you DON'T need.

Below are the rubbish ideas that might be useful

in case you decide to stray away

from the path of sainthood...

Dwell in the past.

There is no better place to call home

than the glory of ancient days.

Squander your time.

Spend it on worthless, unproductive activities.

Commit yourself to vices:

smoking, gambling, drugs, sex...

The options are endless.

Make it a priority to be rude at all times.

(Innocents are particularly entertaining victims.)

And mean your insults for maximum impact.

Find fault in everyone

and never miss an opportunity to point it out.

Elaborate to extremes

the sins of those who have wronged you.

Resolve to never ever forgive them.

Carefully plan out how to make their lives

as miserable as possible.

Develop a mantra of pessimism all throughout the day.

Think negative thoughts as often as you breathe:

"I am ugly."

"I am not good enough."

"I am a huge failure."

Punctuate your sentences with curses.

The more offensive, the better.

Swear words don't exist for nothing.

Claim that the universe is yours to command.

Kneel to  no one.

Defy government.

Break laws.

Hate humanity.

Disrespect your parents.

Think of yourself and yourself alone.

Self-worship is the new trend.

Never have a purpose for living.

Those who set goals for themselves

had nothing better to do with their lives.

Be aimless and reckless.

Manipulate people.

Deceive them with an angelic facade and earn their trust.

Love should never be in your vocabulary.

Fun lies in breaking hearts.

Get obsessed over material things.

Accumulate ridiculous wealth

and reach the zenith of financial success.

Money is the root of all evil, they say.

Prove them right.

Conceive a religion of your own making

and create a multitude of disciples.

Make earth a hellish place to live in.

Venture to the world of carefree pleasures.

Be shamelessly and unforgivably bad.

Apologize for nothing.

Master the art of wasting your life.

After all, being bad is easy.

Being good poses an unreasonable challenge.

Why make life harder than it already is?

Author's Note

I assume you know better believe in me. Haha.

(I know this is prose. I just like this structure.)

Reviews

[Tom]

I can think of alot of people like this and indeed they have all these attributes and more, as detestable as they are contemptible but then again human nature/character is diverse and sadly many posses these selfish traits !

A purposeful, philosophical, poetic, piece of philanthropy ! ( Of how NOT to be !! )

[Blue]

"A purposeful, philosophical, poetic, piece of philanthropy !" Creative alliteration, Tom! Thank you for reviewing this.

[Pax]

catchy and surprisingly, bad if you take it literary...haha, with all that I enjoyed the negative cannotation it portray, but behind all that I see the optimistic value behind all the bad stuff you enumerated. I see you encorporated all the good values we already have/had learned and flip it to bad for a good piece.

I guess, what makes a good writer is that we constantly expirement, and i see it clearly in this piece.

Master the art of wasting your life.
After all, being bad is easy.
Being good poses an unreasonable challenge.
Why make life harder than it already is?

I like this ending, but somehow I find that either both, being bad or good, always put a challenge on us, I always see, there is a reasonable reasoning for this challeges life throws at us...

A very nice piece, kabayan.

[Blue]

I see your point. Thank you for sharing your insights with me, Pax.

[Aethereal]

The only purpose of life is to survive. If we didn’t have this purpose, then we would not be existent for any other purpose anyhow. Pain and pleasure are survival traits. Mistakes are useful for telling us what not to do in the future if we are to survive as long as possible. No other kind of life purpose exist since it would not exist otherwise. The only sin is to make the same mistake more than once. The more we make the same mistake, the greater the sin since we must learn from our mistakes to evolve as a species that survives in the long term. Those who don’t learn by their mistakes fall away, and the wise evolve. The wages of sin is self-extinction. Life is a game whereby we explore our potential to evolve towards our imaginary definition of God.. An evolved child is a god relative to her parents. We possess the power of mind over matter and energy through the process of evolution.

[Blue]

Thank you, Aethereal!

[David Scott]

I find this write a wonderful satire. I must make one observation as you ended this poetry. Being evil is not easy. It is a heavy burden to carry around. Wasting your life can be easy however, as you say. Doing nothing, hot or cold, nothing evil or good, is a waste and it is easy.

There are a few philosophical points worth discussion here and maybe even some light debate. However, the intention is to share wisdom and to encourage introspective thought. We would all live happier lives if we could head your warning here.

Keep up the great work Arzel!

[Blue]

Ohh, thanks for sharing your insights, David! There's something to learn. :)

[Lydia Shutter]

Well, yes, if someone wants to waste their own life, this is a the perfect recipe. I liked this because it is just sardonic and sarcastic enough to teach a lesson. Well written. Lydi**

[Blue]

Thank you so much, Lydia!

[Cassie]

are you sure of this advise hahaha.....this is really good and comical

[Blue]

Will you do them. Cassie? Will you join in my religion? LOL

[Eddie Davis]

Wow, some helpful suggestions to not only make your life wasteful, but potentially cast your eternal soul into Hell. Very well said, so very true, it is amazing how many masters of wasting lives there are out there. Isn't it interesting how easy it is to follow those suggestions, but sin is always the easy path.

Good job, as usual, Blue!

[Blue]

Thank you, Eddie. Your reviews are highly appreciated!

[dw817]

⊰ℛℛ⊱
W O W !
What a well-thought out plan for detriment and decimation of the human spirit.
I hate to admit I'm guilty over a few of these,

1. Conceive a religion of your own making.
2. Dwell in the past.

[Blue]

Thank you, David. I am particularly interested in your #1. What's your religion? :)

[dw817]

Link:
http://bit.ly/1mDuWE9