Modern Pyramus and Thisbe

Modern Pyramus and Thisbe

You and I

theirs, wall

ours, ocean

same curse

themed with prophesied tragedy

we are they--resurrected,

history relived,

rewritten by the pen obsessed

with love defied by circumstances

polar differences,

time,

culture

two ill-fated couples,

victims of the classic excuse for grief's amusement

poor Pyramus

gone for a death misunderstood

poor Thisbe

gone for a death underserved

poor footprints of a tragic romance

that seems ours to follow

...but our story is not over yet...

modern Pyramus and Thisbe

we need not be

Reviews

[KAin]

Interesting breaks in your sentences made this a curious read - i found myself reading the first few stanzas again and again, thinking how the breaks made their understanding a little different, and provide a different emphasis for me to focus on each time. Quite effective. The tale of Pyramus and Thisbe is quite a dour comparison for love... A simile rife with confusion and misapprehensions... And ending tragically.

"...two ill-fated couples,
victims of the classic excuse for grief's amusement..."

The ancient Greeks loved their tragedies... And this tale seemed to be taking "jumping to the worst possible conclusion" to its logical extreme. I did, however, like the resolution and the hope expressed in your final lines. This took me back to the days of studying Ovid's Metamorphoses. Well-written, Arzel.
Keep it up!

[Blue]

I just write whatever comes to my mind for the sole purpose of expression. That's why I'm amazed whenever people like you find depth in my words. You really are so good in reviewing poetry, Landred. Do you have a background in literature?

[KAin]

Yeah, I do. English was my major, along with classical studies. At the behest of someone precious (and now at my own rekindled ambitions) I'm taking my master's course in creative writing next year. Reading was always my first love, and that became a desire to tell stories of my own.

You only write for expression? Well, I can't think of a purer reason to write.

And about the depth in your work... We're all dyed specific colours by what we know and what we perceive. This work has aided your metaphor of averting disaster in love by your allusion to an old story. Whether intended or not, it will speak to those who are familiar with the story, and your work will connect to people. As far as that's concerned, your work is a success. Knowledge aids your work, and it allows you to say things in new and different ways. It's the kind of thing a writer tries to do... and you're doing quite well at it, friend.

[Blue]

English is my major, too, and classic literature is what I love most. I'm impressed with your career, Landred. I wish to pursue on my writing craft as well but for practical reasons, I'd settle for teaching profession. (I love both teaching and writing.)

Keep writing, Landred. I'm sure you'll go far.

[KAin]

I appreciate that, Arzel.
And hey... with dedication and passion (which writers must have to write at all), I think you can do both.
I appreciate the sentiment, and return it. You're a talented writer, after all.

[gabrielle]

Ah, modern Pyramus and Thisbe. The modern wall could be the distance and the technology that we have today is the crack on the wall. Technology is offering us many ways to communicate...So yes, the Modern Pyramus and Thisbe need not end in tragedy. Unique write blue!

[Blue]

You got it, Gab! You're so smart! Thank you for this review.

[Eddie Davis]

Wow, a completely different style for you and again you do it wonderfully! Nice, modern feel to a classic topic, very fresh and well done!

[Blue]

Thank you, Eddie. My muse is getting pretty interesting lately.