This is actually quite clever, nice usage of double-entendres and innuendo... but at the same time it doesn't feel crass or crude. Quite an accomplishment! Good job on leaving your comfort zone, you made something special here!
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you, Nusquam. I'll respond to your message tomorrow. I've got other things to do. It's always .. read moreThank you, Nusquam. I'll respond to your message tomorrow. I've got other things to do. It's always good to hear from you, anyway. :)
This is really great, and it is sensual, and very sweet with just a touch of maybe ... one question with regard to tense, I would think you'd should be you'll ...
Aww, you noticed! Thank you for pointing it out. And for the review as well. :)
10 Years Ago
Yeah, that's kind of what I am known for around here, but if you want a grammar correction, I can us.. read moreYeah, that's kind of what I am known for around here, but if you want a grammar correction, I can usually help you out ...
You many not be comfortable with free verse but you're a natural at it. This goes inside and between the lines with great metaphor and similes. You did an excellent job on this.
100/100
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you, Relic. Free verse always take mores time to write, more revisions to make. For me, that i.. read moreThank you, Relic. Free verse always take mores time to write, more revisions to make. For me, that is.
I'm blushing, too...also not comfortable with either of those things.
However, unlike ol' Granny, here, you seem to have mastered both of them, in this amazing piece.
Kudos on trying something new...and doing such a magnificent job with them both!!
I am in awe of your talent, Ma'am.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you so much, Angel. Same goes to you as well. Your inclination to spiritual writings is inspir.. read moreThank you so much, Angel. Same goes to you as well. Your inclination to spiritual writings is inspiring.
Hi, there! I don't know who I really am but let's start with my name. I am Arzel Joy, otherwise known as Blue here in WC.
I have more pressing matters at hand so I have reduced my time spent on th.. more..