Conversation Couplets

influenced by Shakespeare

Hi, I'm Quinn, please pardon my intrusion.

Your stunning beauty just caught my attention.

Hi there, Quinn. My name is Blue.

It's such a pleasure to meet a poet like you.

Many thanks but the pleasure is mine.

Tell me about yourself, if that's just fine?

How I wish I know something about me.

But as an answer, take a look at  my poetry.

Unlike your mystery compelling me for a look.

You can ask me anything; I am an open book.

Such a bold response to offer a courteous task.

But young man, I wonder, what is there to ask?

It doesn't matter, oh, and I'm a hell of a flirt.

I  hope I won't lose you for this lusty dirt.

That's very honest and I say I'm impressed.

To be so valiant for you to confess!

If my words are offense, please bid me to end.

I dread to wrong you now that you're a friend.

Worry no more, I shall take your counsel.

Your politeness has  blushed the cheeks of this damsel.

I delight in delighting a maiden's heart.

It's been ages and I thought I lost that art.

What reason, please? If you allow me to know

what sadness there is behind this gentlemanly show.

I lost my beloved in a tragic death.

Six months after our baby's first breath.

How grievous it is to suffer such fate!

To love and to lose, to live and to wait.

I never had any female attention since then.

That's why I'm here, trying to have it all again.

I understand, young man, what you have been through

Misery has been kind to me compared to what she is to you.

Thank you very much for your understanding mind.

It's not easy to find someone both lovely and kind.

Your lips are overflowing with sweet compliments.

Rejoice, dear, for I share very same sentiments.

Sentiments your lover showers you like rain.

Such opportunity any man would die to gain.

Such words to hear are maidens' dreams.

Yet you confuse me or so it seems.

Forgive my lousy lines, and I hope he forgives me, too.

But I've never seen such beauty til I laid my eyes on you.

Your lines are poetry of Shakespeare's page

But who is "he" whom you thought would rage?

No one else but him who owns your golden heart.

Such possession is my grief, I must now depart.

Wait, young man. Stay, I insist.

The one you're talking about doesn't even exist.

Are my ears playing a trick on me?

How can a lie be ever so lovely?

Lies? I know nothing, no, not one.

For as to any lover, believe me, I have none.

How is it possible? How is it right?

Could it be that the world has been deprived of sight?

Or you are blind, and that makes more sense.

Stop toying with a maiden's innocence.

My mind fails to comprehend, I meant no harm.

But how can anybody be immune to your charm?

It's amazing how a single picture can deceive.

And have men chasing after a make-believe.

You mean to tell me your picture is a lie?

A view that has caused admirers to sigh?

Make no mistake, that's my face in sight

But prettier, thanks to the manipulation of light.

I think beauty within is sweeter than outside

Though both to you have not been denied.

As to within, your judgment isn't reliable

'Cause to know someone in minutes isn't at all possible.

I've read your poems and I tell you, Miss,

It's as good as tasting your soul's heavenly kiss.

You made a fine poem from a boring summary.

If that is so, you know everything there is to me.

You are too sweet for the world's consumption.

Yet enough to command my heart to wean infatuation.

Patience, young man, that's what you need.

'Cause you're like thoughts in their summer speed.

Forgive me if I come on too early and strong.

Rather be brief and straight than unnecessarily long.

Forgiveness is given only to a sinner's plea.

I can't remember any wrong you've done to me.

If loving you sentences me to hell, I'll gladly rot.

'Cause my heart won't thrive where you live not.

Author's Note

Original link: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/arzeljoy_blu/1282493/

Just a casual conversation converted into couplets. Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[s y e]

This was cute, Arzel. Loved how the conversation progessed through out the poem.

[Blue]

Thank you, Sye.

[R. L. Hill]

Very adorable, dear. I like how it progresses and develops.

[Blue]

Thank you, Quirklet.

[Brian F. Lockard]

You should become a rapper ahahahaha

[Blue]

My tongue would be in knots! :P

[Calibaster]

Again, you wrote a very cute scenario! You excel at those! Great job! :) ;)

[Blue]

Thank you, Alverrann.

[Calibaster]

You're welcome! :) ;)

[DaughterNature]

Having a conversation in couplets is cute, and I like the lilting rhythm. But, as the discussion gets more serious, the lilting feel tends to detract from the emotions presented. Additionally, if you want your piece to sound more conversational and less like you're trying to sound clever (no offense meant), spend more time on careful language choices, and make sure that not all thoughts end at the end of a line: allow some to flow through onto the next line so that the lines do not sound so clunky.

[Blue]

Thank you for your priceless suggestions on how to improve my craft, DN. I meant it to be structured like this, though. Felt like a challenge.

[BlackHeart]

I thought that this was amazing that you would make that kind of work. I find that you have put a lot of thought into a lot of your work. I find that I love your work, and can not wait to read more of what you have wrote.

[Blue]

Thank you, BH. :)

[Baby Ricochet]

This was interesting and fun to read. Thank you Arzel

[Blue]

Thank you, BR.

[Rita L. Sev]

Clever conversion into couplets, Blue! Your conversation bounced along vibrantly in this form. :)

[Blue]

Thank you, Rita.

[L4rn13]

I enjoyed reading this thoroughly! Very well written!

[Blue]

Thank you!

[Leslie Philibert]

Like this too, even though Bill used couplets sparsely, mostly blank verse. Good write, good idea, well written.

[Blue]

Thank you, Leslie.