Dear Baby Girl

To my little sister.

Baby girl

let me teach you something

about life.

Life is full of questions;

questions you'll ask

and questions you'll answer.

Some questions are dumb

(anyone who says there are no stupid questions

is lying)

and some questions are profound.

Some questions are easy

and others are not,

but perhaps the most important categories

of questions that I can think of

are the ones that should be asked

and the ones that should not.

Questions that shouldn't be asked

are sneaky

because they're questions

and questions are made to be answered

but baby girl

please believe me when I say

that just because questions were made to be asked

doesn't mean they have to be answered.

Questions that shouldn't be asked

are confusing

because they're asked in a way

that makes you feel responsible for answering

and sometimes the people asking them

don't know any better

but that's not any help

to someone like you

who may not know the difference,

which is why I'm here

to help you.

Let me show you what I mean.

Do you remember

when our house got robbed?

and the cops came

and asked us a bunch of questions?

Well,

they didn't ask why our doors weren't locked

or why we didn't have our security system on

or why we left our television out in the open

for everyone to see.

No.

They asked what had happened

what had been taken from us

how much it was worth

and when it was taken

and they promised to find the person

who wronged us.

Now, do you remember

when I was raped by Josh’s best friend?

and the cops came

and asked me a bunch of questions?

Well,

they didn't ask

if I was okay

what had happened

what had been taken from me

how much it was worth

and they didn't bother to promise

to find the person

who wronged me.

No.

They asked me what I was wearing

if I had been drinking

or been on narcotics

why I let him stay the night

why I flirted and led him on

why I didn't fight back

why I didn't say

no.

I know it seems silly

and crazy and drastic

but baby girl

I’ve been asked questions like this

since I was ten years old

and let me tell you,

those kinds of questions

do not deserve answers.

They're the wrong questions,

and if someone asks you the wrong questions

tell them

they should be asking the right ones,

because my baby girl

deserves to know

that it's not her fault

if she felt like wearing that skirt that night

or that she felt like having a drink or two,

that it's not her fault

when she's wronged,

that it's not her fault

if she didn't know

how to say no.

Baby girl

let me teach you something

about life;

life is full of questions

questions you'll ask

and questions you'll answer,

and it's your job to decide

the ones worth asking

and the ones worth answering.

Author's Note

Thoughts, questions, comments?

Reviews

[Richard Knox]

Wow! I love this poem, even though it makes me angry and sad. At the beginning I was thinking it was going to be a sweet, how-to-get-along-in-life monologue to a child, but then it sneakily got serious and dark, and elegantly illustrated the bias and inequality that rape victims face.