Lit and Paranoid

Exams were today. Blake wasn’t spazzing out like the other girls; she actually studied the night before. That’s why we couldn’t go to the movies. She insisted on passing with a flying grade. I admired that about her. She pushed and pushed until she got what she wanted. On my way to pick her up, I realized how sunny it was outside. When I arrived at her house, my hypothesis proved correct: she was wearing her denim shorts.

“Hey, beautiful.” She pecked my lips as she hopped in the passenger seat.

“Good morning, handsome.” Her skin glowed next to the gray cloth. “How’d you sleep?” She asked.

“Pretty terrible. I was so tired I couldn’t sleep.”

“Awe, that’s because you were running around in my dreams all night.” She giggled and ruffled through her bag.

“I knew I loved you for a reason.” We kissed again at the red light. “How’d you sleep?”

“Like a baby in her mothers’ arms. I studied for a few hours and once I was satisfied, I slept on a cloud.” Her smile beamed.

“Hmm. Maybe I should sleep with you more often.” I offered with a smile.

“My door is always open.” She smiled again and at the next stop light, I kissed her another time.

“I just can’t get enough of you today. You’re so beautiful.” My fingertips left the edge of her chin; she blushed under her freckles.

“You’re too nice to me.”

“On the contrary.” We both laughed. Sadly, we rolled into the school parking lot. Blake threw her bag over her shoulder and took my hand.

            Lunch came around after fourth hour. I spotted Blake in the crowd and pushed my way to her, coming from behind. I cupped my hands around her eyes and lowered my head to her ear.

“Guess who.” She could feel the smile on my lips.

“The Candy Man!” She giggled, turned around, and hugged the death out of me. We bought our food and found a specific table in the far corner of the cafeteria. She ate her usual peanut butter and jelly sandwich, crackers, and an apple. She was such a health nut.

“You make me feel so bad about devouring this pizza slice.” She reached across my arm, tore off a piece of the crust, and munched away.

“Don’t feel too bad.” She smiled.

“Oh, thanks.” I smirked and stuck my tongue out.

“Hey, is it supposed to rain today?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Then let’s go outside!” She picked up her things and dumped them.

“Hey, hey, hey! Wait for me.” I dumped my trash and followed her. There weren’t many people outside; it was windy. You could tell the rain was coming. We were walking onto the edge of campus when Blake stopped and held her arms out like an airplane.

“I want to fly.” She said.

“I would take you flying; ride you all the way up to Heaven.”

“And crash down with me when gravity over comes us?” She turned around and latched onto my torso.

“Most definitely.” I smiled. She sighed.

“I’ve got this urge to run away.” She let go of me and sat in the grass Indian style.

“Why?” I sat down with her. The lunch bell rang out in the background. She began ripping the grass from the ground.

“I always feel like going home and then I realize I’m in my own bed. It’s the worst feeling in the world.”

“We should go on a trip this weekend. Exams probably have you in a bunch.”

“Nah, Jared, it isn’t just exams. Everything, at a time, feels very wrong. I look outside of my window and I want to jump out. Do you even know what that feels like?”

“I could try to imagine.”

“Okay. Close your eyes and listen to my voice.”

“Could this be therapy class?” I winked and watched her sit on her knees. She smiled, but closed my eyes with her fingers.

“No, now listen.” She paused, breathing. “Picture the perfect sunset. Watch the clouds surround the sun. Birds fly into your view. You feel warmth glowing from your heart, from your chest. It grows out wide, down to your toes. It looks beautiful and you think you’re free, but look around you. You aren’t free. The birds are free, the trees, the bunnies, but you are not. Your ankles and wrists are chained to the ground in a never ending cycle of school, work, and surviving; it’s terrible.” I did feel terrible. Blake’s voice wavered at the end and when I opened my eyes, tears stained her cheeks.

“Come ‘ere, baby. It’s gonna be okay.” She tumbled into my arms. There wasn’t anything else I could do but hold her and wait for the tears to subside. She smudged the backs of her hands along her face. It was a good thing she didn’t wear make-up.

“We should get back to class.”

“Are you sure?” She smiled back at me.

“Exams are over…”

“We should run away.”

“Come on.” Her voice was definite and full of life. She grabbed my wrist and bolted. We ran in no decided direction. It wasn’t until I cleared my head did I realize she was headed for my truck. As sneakily as we could, we hopped in and drove off.

            “There’s a corn field about ten miles from here. Go there.” Her voice was shaking with excitement.

The ride there was silent except for her breathing. I listened for the slightest disturbance and realized she had fallen asleep. Once we were there, I turned off the ignition and kissed her ear. She coiled out and stretched. I watched her skin shine in the sun light.

“Are we there yet?” She breathed in sharply.

“Let’s go, babe.” We hopped out. Blake’s Vans gripped the dirt like a baby grabbing hair. She bolted through the corn field, leaving me to catch up with her. I’ll admit, it was difficult, but I soon did. She kept running and running in no apparent direction like she was searching for something. I could feel her emotions in the wave left behind her. She felt lost, paranoid. She wanted so desperately to get out, but she was so content being lost in herself. The breath escaping her lips was nothing lost, she breathed in more oxygen; she was hungry. Desperation filled her lungs. There was nothing she could do so she kept running. She was a cheetah in the desert. Her legs pulled her father and farther; her body was made for this.

Blake turned a sharp left and I lost her. Suddenly, I felt her emotions even more because I was lost and she was nowhere to be found. I regained my breath, looking around. I couldn’t hear anything, but the wind ripping through the corn stalks. It had been a few minutes, but I was beginning to hear her footsteps. I stopped and listened, rocking on the balls of my feet. There was a lightning flash and wham! she ran smack dab into me. Tears were flying, blood was flowing, and emotions were raging. I took her face in my hands and kissed her with my heart. That was by far the closest we had ever been.