Chapter Nine

   In the sun I felt quite different. Even though I had put sunscreen on during my walk to the train station it still felt like people were staring at my glistening skin. The sun beat down on the already crisp side walk and I waited, thumb up, for a taxi. During the night I had ran all the way to Pennsylvania and now all I needed was a ride to Jersey. A cab stopped right on the curb and the driver rolled down the window.

“Can ya take me to Jersey?” I covered my eyes and squinted in an attempt to be human, but the man was preoccupied with my appearance. I sighed loudly in frustration and that seemed to break his trance.

“Um, yeah, sugar hop on in.” lovely, this’ll be just fantastic.

  The time rushed by probably because I was nervous. Usually it goes by slower, but not for me. The driver charged me half of what I should’ve paid, so I tipped him.

“Nah, not from a pretty lady like you. Just pay me half.” I took his hand and leaned forward, inches from his face, pressing the money into his palm.

“Why thank you.” I exhaled longer than needed and swiftly exited the car, closing the door behind me. Being back in Jersey made me feel lighter, bubblier, but something kept biting at the corners of my mind. Yet, I still strutted down the side walk to my apartment. The familiar lobby reminded me of so many memories I had had with Penny; I would have to call her when I got upstairs. The doorman waved and tipped his hat with a warm smile as I returned the gesture and gathered a new room key.

“Thank you.” I smiled warmly at the counter boy and headed for the elevator. So many people greeted me and welcomed me back as I made my way to my room.  Once I was inside I immediately dropped my stuff, sighing loudly.

 

  I paused after I closed the door and waited for it to hit me. That sense of feeling home and full, but it never did. Even after I had turned on all the lamps, thrown away all of my bad food, cranked up the stereo, and changed into an old t-shirt it still hadn’t hit me. Suddenly I realized who wasn’t here, whose shirt I was wearing, and whose voice I was listening intently to; Gerard. Sitting on the couch, I crumpled into a ball, and cried tearless sobs. After an hour when it wasn’t better I cleaned myself up and dialled Penny’s number.