Chapter Five

 He only chuckled and lightly grabbed my cheek. Our gaze didn’t last long, but I figured he had already taken in the bags under my eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” he asked, thoughtfully stroking my hair, his lip pursing.

“Erm, well, nightmares I guess.” He frowned at my poor excuse and fumbled for my hand in the dim lit space. I gladly let him take me.

“What was on your mind today?” I felt his thumb rubbing the top of my hand and instantly felt sleepy.

“Honestly?” I paused, biting my lip. “Peter.” I whispered softly, glad he couldn’t see my eyes.

“That guy?” he sighed loudly. “Come on, babe, we left him behind.”

“But, Gerard, he wanted something. He wanted to know what I can do and why I was here. What do you think that even means? Why am I here?” my voice sounded more frantic with every moment. The sheets ruffled dryly as he pulled me closer; our foreheads were touching. He pulled our tangled hands up were I could see and stroked my fingers lightly.

“I won’t let him hurt you.”

“But I can’t say the same. I’m powerless, I have nothing against him – he knows that, Gerard.”

“What do you mean ‘he knows that, Gerard’?” at first I didn’t want to say what came to me, but I did anyway.

“He knows I love you.” His silence cut me to the core. I heard him swallow thoughtfully.

“I didn’t know – you felt that way, Ava.” I could feel him looking at me. I sighed deeply and let my head fall on the pillow.

“Well I do. Gerard, I love you.” Out of nowhere Gerard’s face appeared over mine and I knew he was on top of me. I giggled softly before he pushed his hands under my head.

“I love you too, Ava, forever and always.” I closed my eyes and let his words sink in. Like you would a child, he lifted my head and kissed my forehead.

“Thank you.” I whispered, pursing my lips. For some reason I felt confused, confused about everything that was happening and whether it was real or not. If I had hallucinations about bleeding to death surely I might hallucinate about love.

“What’s wrong?” unfortunately he saw my face. Without opening my eyes I responded.

“This just feels too good to be true, like I’m imagining it. – Gerard, have you ever had hallucinations?” he continued to lightly press our foreheads together.

“Well, hallucinations as in dreams or actual things you feel?” he started massaging my scalp in various places.

“Real life.”

“Can’t say I have, why do you ask?”

“Because I think,” I sighed loudly and opened my eyes. “I’m sure I did.” My voice sounded flat in my ears.

“When?” his eyes were closed.

“You won’t believe me if I tell you.”

“What?” he asked quickly, opening his eyes, and gave me a look of disbelief.

Before answering I lightly placed my fingers on his chest and started fiddling with the cloth, “Gerard, you know I almost died?”

“Your heart was still beating.” He muttered hardly. I could hear the hurt in his voice and feel it in the air.

“No, no not then.” I shook my head, but something stopped me from telling him the straight truth. Instead, I thought, I’ll just tell him a fraction of it.

“I’m not really in my twenties.”

He scoffed, “Is this about age? Good lord, Ava, you know I don’t care.”

“So you wouldn’t care if I was, say maybe around ninety years old?” he looked at me sternly.

“You’re joking, right?”

“No, Gerard I need to tell you some things.” I paused.