Chapter Six

 Ava’s P.O.V

  I paced around my apartment, occasionally picking up the smallest thing from the floor, and thinking. Am I really different? I took a look at my clothes and even at my reflection in the mirror. There wasn’t a single thing that looked different to me. I’m still Ava Michelle Redde. I hadn’t tried to change in the four years I wasn’t with him. I could hear his thoughts a few miles away. Why did I get caught up in him? Why hadn’t I just stayed at home that day and ditched like I had planned? I wouldn’t be trapped in this mess, explaining myself to someone, what am I thinking? This is crazy, psycho thinking. It’ll never work out between us.

He only likes you for your accent. Nothing more.

I fluttered my hands and sat down at my desk to turn on my lap top. It didn’t take very long and I was able to pull up My Documents quickly. I clicked on a file, opened it and placed my fingers on the keyboard. It took a minute, but finally my fingers started to spill.

I hate feeling this way

Being so wrapped up in you

It isn’t and can’t be healthy or true

‘Love’ like ours simply doesn’t exist

You’re playing a game

Dancing with my heart and wearing out its shoes

I wish you to stop but you simply

Will not

 

You press and press for the information

But you know I can’t give anything but a notation

Have you the brains to decode?

Or will you give up and leave me?

I wish you to leave

But my heart let out a scream

 

Why, heart, do you betray me so?

I only wish him to go

So I can live normally and be myself

I don’t need him or his wealth

But you say I do

Oh why do you

Oh why should I?

 

  I read it over and over, marvelling at what I had written. It was totally about Gerard and that was hard to comprehend. Maybe I had just understood my heart. A knock at the door sent me jumping.

“God,” I whispered out of frustration and got up to catch the door.

“Hello.” Gerard grinned. Light danced off his face and I smiled back. He let himself in; awkwardly I stepped back and closed the door.

“Are you feeling a little mute today?” he looked back at me with that devil’s grin.

“Um, no.” instead of looking American, for a minute I swear I actually looked British because of the way Gerard looked at me.

“So, how are you?” he took a bar chair and sat down, rubbing his cold hands together.

“A little bit confused.”

“You read minds, it doesn’t matter.” He leaned his elbow on the counter.

“If it didn’t matter you wouldn’t be thinking about it.”

“I guess I can’t hide anymore can I?” he chuckled, taking another look around.

“Not technically, unless your two miles away from me.” I gave a wink and took a seat beside him.

“Why do you keep it from people?”

“I don’t want to be a freak. All through grade school I would respond to people’s thoughts instead of what they actually said and they never wanted to be my friend after wards.” I found myself playing with my fingers while I was talking, but did not stop.

“I don’t think you’re a freak at all.” He winked and scooted himself closer. I kept my head down, playing with my fingers, trying to decide how to tell him I was a freak and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.

“I can’t…” My voice was cut off by the familiar ring of my cell phone. I sighed and plucked it from my back pocket. The number wasn’t familiar.

“Maybe you shouldn’t say who you are this time.” Gerard suggested. I shrugged and pressed the okay button.

“Ello.”

“Ava?” It was the same deep husky voice from earlier.