Last Dancing Steps

 Last Dancing Steps

            Once upon a time a beautiful princess named Madeline lived in a castle in a far away land. The vast land she lived on was rich and pure. She was able to play in the castle walls, but that was the extent of her adventures. Never did she climb the wall and run away, like she secretly wished. Her parents were the most rude and shallow people she had ever met. They would send her to her room for hours on end without a single thing to do. She had daily’s to do each and every day. Her French tutor would come through her bedroom doors and play teacher and student for four hours while she just sat there being bored.

It never ends! She thought one evening just after her tutor had left. An idea popped in her head at once when she rose from the bed. Quietly, she tip-toed to her Box of Hope and slid it out from under a pile of clothes in her closet. She opened it silently. No one else besides her could see what was inside; you had to believe to see. The worn ebony paint was fading, but she still believed in her little box.

“Take me outside the castle walls,” She pleaded to the box. Her blue eyes closed as she chanted a spell through her lips seven times. The room was silent and then she was gone. She and the box had disappeared into thin air.

            Madeline stood up and unruffled her skirt, praying that she wouldn’t have any grass stains on her white clothes. When she looked up from her gown she was astonished at what she saw. She grabbed her box tightly. It was all so amazing. The beautiful landscape before stretched endlessly until it hit the village. Without her parents no one would recognize her.

            She strutted into town and gazed at everything with a wandering eye and a secret fear in her heart, for such disobedience was frowned upon greatly. Just before she was about to sit down, a boy caught her blue eyes. She stared, fixing her piercing gaze into his hazel eyes. How sweet, she thought when he didn’t look away. She let herself fall to the ground under the apple tree, pretending she was hurt. He bolted towards her.

“Are you alright?” He exclaimed.

“I’m much better,” She ogled at him.

“Well,” He stuttered, “I’m glad you’re alright,”

“Thank you very much. What is your name?”

“Aaron and yours?”

“You can call me Freckles,” Madeline made up a nick name quickly, fearing that he would think her of the Princess Madeline if she told him her real name.

“Freckles?” Aaron cocked his head.

“Yes, do you see these?” Freckles pointed blindly to her cheeks.

“Oh yes!”

“Those are freckles,” She explained.

Suddenly a bell rang out, a bell Freckles had never heard before.

Aaron gasped.

“What?”

“The princess is missing!”

“Oh no,” She pretended to be shocked. People in the streets started going crazy, running around like mad men, when the knights rode their way into the streets. They called her name, but she couldn’t get away before they saw her.

“There she is!”

“No!” She whispered.

“What? You’re the princess?” His eyes went wide with shock.

 

            That night, in her bed, Freckles wouldn’t answer to anyone who called her Madeline, but she never told anyone what to call her by. Her evil father, King Paul, and atrocious mother, Queen Alstenia, had taken her away from freedom.

 

Five Years Later…

            Freckles now lives with Aaron far away from that village or her evil parents. The two have two children in a cute little cottage. Even after all that happened to her, she lived happily ever after.

 

The End

 

Author's Note

I had to do this for my language arts class and I thought it was kind of cute, maybe make some peoples day, so I thought I would put it on here. And look, now you've hopefully read it. Did I make your day?
Thanks so much, Mary. (I plan on finishing it later)

Reviews

[.Bunnie.]

This was a cute story. I agree with the rest of the reviews, however--I think it'd be great with some more details and more story in it.

Umm...I'm a bit confused about the title, though? "Last Dancing Steps"? This story really doesn't have anything to do with dancing? Just curious!

[Lauren Marie]

This was a cute story. A few things though:

1. "Once upon a time a beautiful princess named Madeline lived ..." You described how Freckles looked using the word, "beautiful," but we still don't know what she looks like.

2. Along those same lines, "She stared, fixing her piercing gaze into his hazel eyes." What does "piercing" even mean? This description no longer has meaning in the world of writing, because know one knows what it means! Ask yourself: what do I mean by "piercing?" and replace the word with your answer.

3. I didn't feel any emotion in the story. I would have liked to see more description of what she was feeling. And I thought it was short. You could (if you so desired to) write a whole book on how Freckles escapes the castle and finally manages to evade her mom and dad. This would be an excellent novel.

This was a very cute little tale!
~Lauren

[X_Emo_Princess_X]

I wish it was longer or that she had talked to the boy longer. But it was very good. If you added more detail to it and made it a bit longer it could be simply amazing!(not that it wasn't, I loved it!) Good job!

[Carolyn]

I really like it although i would've liked it longer

[ladybug]

That was really good. If you made it longer it would have been even better.
Keep writing
ladybug

[Samuel Dickens]

This is a good, entertaining story that's suitable for children. I think you could easily lengthen it, Madeline, and it would be even better.

[Daniel]

This really was a good.

It did make my day. :) Great ending.

[Judith Gayle Nail]

yes, Madeline......you did!