Chapter Four

 

 

 We got to his house around three thirty. The whole house was very much alive. Apparently Gerard’s parents were having their anniversary two weeks from now, so every one was cleaning.

“Hey mikey!” I yelled and tried to jump around his shoulders.

“Yo, candy!” he pulled my legs over his shoulder and dangled me around for a minute. Gerard came over and tickled my side.

“Whoa oh my god this is so unfair!” I giggled for a good two minutes and my lungs were aching.

“We got you!” mikey yelled and twirled me around for several minutes; I was getting sick.

“Mikey,” was all I could make out between my struggles for air.

“Whoa mikey! Put her down.” Gerard saw my face just in time.

“Thank you so much.” I straightened myself up and breathed deeply.

“What happened?” mikey asked, kneeling down before me, on the floor.

“I have asthma like really bad.” Things were starting to stay where they should after a minute.

“Ouch, that sucks.”

“Yes it does.” Gerard cut in, pulled me into him on the ground and kissed me. For a few seconds I tangled my hands in his hair, but I couldn’t do it for too long.

“Gross you guys get a room!” Ray pushed the two of us over, making Gerard let go.

“Thanks.” I coughed.

“Oh yeah. Sorry about that. Why didn’t you tell me to get off?” he helped me up and we started picking up the kitchen together.

“Because I was having too much fun.” I kissed his lips. The dishwasher was full so while I washed and Gerard dried, it went on.

“It is safe no were!” frank yelled when he caught us kissing.

“Sorry frank!” I yelled before he ran off. He smiled.

“Nah, you two are cute. It’s been awhile here before my buddy here had a girlfriend.” Gerard and I looked at each other.

“We aren’t going out.” We both said in unison.

“Why?” mikey, had stopped in the kitchen, and frank said.

“I don’t know.” I mumbled. Frank kicked Gerard’s shin.

“Hey hey!” he yelled.

“Aw here lemme kiss it.” On my way down I ran my fingers along his back side and squeezed his butt. He jumped so I got back up, laughing.

“That was uncalled for.”

“I didn’t think so.” I continued washing the dishes. “Don’t you try that either.” I turned to his falling hand and slapped it.

“But that’s not fair!” he screeched.

“My father would have your head. Quit it.” I finished the last plate and he dried it.

“He wouldn’t find out.” Gerard whispered pulled me into a big hug type thing, but instead of an actual hug he ran his hand down my spine and stopped at my hips. We swayed in the kitchen and I leaned my head on his chest. We stayed like that for awhile.

“Gerard…”

“Hmm.” His eyes were closed and he was smiling when I looked up at him.

“Never mind.”

“Are you sure?” he kept his eyes closed and played with my hair.

“Yeah. Do you mind if I leave?” I needed to think more clearly.

“Why?” he opened his eyes and looked at me with a scared expression.

 “Aw candy stay a little bit longer!” mikey yelled.

“Alright, but can we go to your room, Gerard?” he nodded and we walked off.

“Party pooper!” mikey yelled. He was so funny.

 Gerard lay on the bed with his hand back. I sat on top of him and pulled on his white suspenders.

Gerard’s P.O.V

“What’s wrong?” I asked. She was playing with the buttons on my shirt, undoing them and doing them again.

“Earlier you know when I said never mind. Well I did really have something to say.” The face she looked up at me with was one I had never seen before so I sat up and crossed my legs and then pulled her into my lap, facing me. My first two shirt buttons were left un-done.

“What is it? You can tell me anything.” The way she twirled her hair made me uneasy in one of those wow-she’s-just-too-perfect kinds of ways.

“I know it’s too early but…” she stopped. No don’t stop! She was killin’ me. She bit her lip before opening her mouth again. But before she said anything I came to a realization I had never came to in my life with anyone.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.” She whispered. I couldn’t believe it. At first I didn’t know what to say, well I knew, but I couldn’t make my mouth say the words.

“I love you, Gerard.” She whispered again, it sounded like she was crying. Why was she crying?

“Joey, I love you too.” Tears trickled down her cheek and she hugged me with a broad smile on her face.

“Really?”

“How can you really ask that?” I tipped her over and toppled down on top.

“Again?” she asked then laughed. All of her tears were gone, no site of the little traitors. She glanced around.

“What?”

“The light is still on.”

“I can fix that.” I lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around my hips to stay on and I got the light. She ended up on top once we reached the bed again. She giggled.

“Thank you, love.” Joey un-buttoned my shirt and started kissing my collar bone.

 

Joey’s P.O.V 

 I kissed Gerard’s collar bone multiple times and before I knew it his shirt was on the floor. Finally Gerard started kissing me. How long does it take to get the message across? With his hands under my shirt wrapped around my rib cage he turned us over, me on top; I un-zipped his pants.

“My turn.” He chuckled, kissed my ear and started tugging on my shirt.

“Don’t stretch it.” He kept struggling. “You’re pathetic.” I rose up and slid my shirt off and then threw it. He pulled me down and rolled on top. I giggled quietly as he kissed my collar bone and ran his rough hands on my shoulders.

“I like this one.” He stopped to let me breathe. “It’s pink you know that right?”

“Yeah pink is sexy just not on the outside, only on the inside.” I popped my bra strap.

“I do have to agree and it’s low.” He grinned crookedly. The clock on his desk said four o’clock.

“I have to leave in thirty. How about you just come over to my house?”

“But we can’t do this there.” He complained

“My parents aren’t home.”

“Oh really?” she looked at her phone; a message had popped up.

“Yeah they took Jacky to a play place so my mom could meet some other people and she wanted my dad to go so he did.” Ha.

“I like this. Let’s go.” He playfully pushed me off of him and got up. I laughed and rolled off too. After I wobbled around, I reached for my shirt, but Gerard had picked it up.

“c’mon. I’m shirtless.” Here we go again.

“I know.” He pulled me into his arms and hugged me. His hands were running up and down my back, but slow enough to send little spurts of excitement through me.

“I just want my shirt.” My voice was muffled by his chest since I was leaning against it.

“Alright, fine.” He pulled it over my head and settled me standing. I was about to fall asleep right there, but he woke me up.

 

“I have so much to do when I get home.” We were walking to my house now.

“Like what?”

“I have to get my school stuff ready.” I yawned.

“Ah crap that’s right.”

 

 Over the next few hours Gerard and I played around, picked up my room, and put my backpack together. We had the best time. He was even more himself at my house and I don’t see how that could even be possible.

“Hey, I want to hear you play.” Gerard picked up my guitar and strummed a string.

“Eh, alrighty. I’m not that good.” He swished his hand at me before handing me my baby. I hadn’t played much since we moved in. it felt good to run my fingers over the strings and press my fingers against the frets. I didn’t want to bore him so I started warming up. My hands were flying over the guitar neck and before I knew it I was singing a song I had written. The end of the song was my favorite.

“I love you but we both know what will happen

If we don’t deicide who is the captain

Trying to salvage our love and

Roll it up like a rug,

Then your every smile haunts the distance

Between us our love isn’t enough, isn’t enough, enough?

To overcome the life; lived by many, enjoyed by few, except me and you.” I finished up with one last chord. Gerard’s jaw had dropped.

“Wow.”

“It’s nothing.” I smiled, blushing.

“That was amazing, beautiful. God, I love you.” He let me put my guitar away before hugging me. This time it was for real, kind of like the ones you give your parents, but this was totally different, maybe even better.

“Thank you, love. I love you too, but it’s about time you get home.”

“Yeah, hey you have to come over and do that again for the guys tomorrow. I have to get their approval if I want you in the band.”

“Okay.” I yawned. “I’m tired and I’m afraid my parents will be home any minute. I wish I could walk you home.” I smiled and he pulled out his phone.

“We’ll keep in touch.” He pushed me against the wall where I was stuck and kissed me. After that he left.

“Alrighty I’ll be waiting!” I yelled after him as he walked out the door. I would be. Every minute of the day I wasn’t with him I got really sad. The night was longer than I wanted it to be, but I feel asleep listening to my ipod.

 

 Monday mornings were the worst. The shower water was too cold and I couldn’t get the room heater to work so I was cold the whole morning. After I was done and had all of my things together, including my guitar, I went downstairs. The bus would be here any minute.

“I love you, mom.” I kissed her cheek, jacks and left my father. I was only outside for a few minutes and then the bus came. The screeching piece of junk slammed on its breaks. My mind was telling me not to get on, but my feet carried me anyway. Once we were on the highway going towards the school a small mini van took its chances and slammed into the front of the bus. No one was hurt but everyone screamed and crap. A few of the kids took one look at the back emergency door, each other and then we all had the same idea. So the six or seven of us were free, including Gerard and mikey.

“Yo, candy.”

“Hello, boys. And how did we sleep last night?” I wrapped my hand around the opposite side of Gerard’s cheek and kissed the other.

“Not enough.” They both said and scratched the tops of their heads. We all laughed.

“What’s that for? You play?” mikey pointed toward my guitar case, genuine surprise on his face.

“Oh yeah.” I smiled my cheesiest and started walking backwards.

“Did you know the guys and I were going to form a band?”

“Yeppos, Gerard told me yesterday, I think. Anyway, I still know about it. I was going to skip my house today and just walk to yours so I could play for you guys.”

“She’s amazing.”

“He’s just saying that.”

“Because I mean it.”

“Whatever!” I yelled so loud some old lady ran out her door waving a cane at us. We all started running and stopped once we were in front of the school.

“Wow. That lady was scary. I don’t like her.”

Gerard laughed. “Yeah me neither. So where do you go first?”

“I don’t know. Remember they didn’t give us our schedule on Friday.”

“I knew that.”

“Right after I told you.” He nudged my arm as we walked up the stairs.

“Well, ok you got me there.” I tightened my hand on my backpack strap and pushed the door open. Again the bleach smell hit me hard.

“Jeeze!” I waved my hand in front of my nose.

“What is your problem?” mikey asked sort of yelling.

“You don’t smell that?” of course, everyone else but me is normal.

Mikey sighed, “Gerard, did you forget your deodorant again?!” Gerard swung his hand at Mikey’s head and missed him by just a hair’s width.

“Jeeze, mikey, you really should learn how to pick your fights more wisely.”

“Yeah, mikey.” Gerard echoed.

“You too, mister.” I laughed.

“What did I do?” he yelled.

“Could you keep it down? There is no reason to be that loud.” A teacher across the hall scolded Gerard for his loudness.

I ran off yelling, “ha-ha! Gerard got in trouble!” and stopped at my locker. Gerard caught me and turned me around.

“Oh, no mikey, shan’t you help me?” mikey just laughed at me and opened his locker.

“You’re on your own girly.” Gerard caught my hip in one hand and my cheek in the other and kissed me. It wasn’t prolonged; it was very short; he let up and walked off after winking at me. I sighed in one of those gosh-how-did-I-get-so-freaking-lucky kinds of ways.

“Has he asked you out, yet?” mikey asked, an armful of books in his hand.

I sighed again, but much sadder this time, “no, but I won’t push it. What we have is enough for me.” I took my own books out, closed my stinkin locker and walked with mikey to our homeroom.

“Don’t you want him to?” we were out by the door and I could see Gerard sitting with his eyes closed, head back.

“Yeah, but like I said I don’t wanna push it and neither will you.” I poked his chest and walked in to my seat, across the room from the boys and started doodling.

 

 The day went by pretty slow. For some reason I saw a difference in the way Gerard was acting around me; no hugs, no kisses, or anything, but I didn’t let it bother me. Sometimes you just have those days where you just don’t wanna fool with stuff like that, so I let it go. My father had gotten angry again last night. I don’t know why though. I had done all my chores and even a few more. Gerard hadn’t come over and I hadn’t gone over to his house in a couple of days. I wish he would get over himself and stop taking the stress of his job; I guess that’s why he beats me, on me. The bruises on my wrist were becoming harder to explain to my mother. At first it was, I slammed my wrist in the door and then it was, I left a lot of rubber bands on my wrist all night. She had started to not believing me. And my father wasn’t helping, at all, he just did it more. So the other day I ordered a pair of black fingerless gloves from a store. They were supposed to deliver around four, so my parents wouldn’t see them. Not that my father minded, he just wanted something to hide it so he could keep doing what he was doing. Not to mention I couldn’t wear my favorite shirt anymore, alone, I had to wear a tank top under it because my dad hit my with a chair the other day, spreading a line of bruises along my spine. Gerard didn’t know, he would have a fit if he found out, so I intended on keeping it from him. I had done pretty well so far. I was feeling so down that at lunch when we went through the line I didn’t get any food. It was also my favorite food, nacho day, so it puzzled mikey and Gerard even more.

“I’m just not hungry.” I told them. It was really hard convincing these two knuckle heads.

“I think you’re sick.” Gerard said.

“I’m not sick.” Sick, of you two maybe, I thought, but followed behind them to our table anyway and laid my head down. wow, I’m moody.

“I think she is.” Mikey whispered.

“Will you people just leave me alone?” great, now these two are going to start asking questions, you just wait. And now…

“What’s wrong with you?” Gerard tugged on my sleeve. I shook him off.

“What did you do?” mikey whispered in a harsh voice. It was a few more minutes before they talked again, but I still wasn’t done fuming.

“It’s him isn’t it?” Gerard assumed, right, of course. He knew me too well and to add onto it I’m a horrible liar.

“I don’t want to talk about anything right now. So could you guys just like, talk about something or someone else besides me? Is it that hard?” I rolled my eyes, wow, since when did I get so moody? Mikey didn’t say anything else and neither did Gerard. Great, I had just ruined their good day.

 

 Instead of taking the bus home I walked, even though it was raining. Gerard begged me to ride the bus; he said he was afraid I would get sick. Right now I didn’t care what he was afraid of. He could hide in his closet for all I cared. The rain pelting my face felt good. It was cold and so was I, but that’s beside the point. Letting the rain wash over my face was refreshing. By the time I felt ‘done’ I was soaked. I was glad my mother had taken jack to the doctor s office for a check up so she wouldn’t see me like this. My phone vibrated on the back of the toilet while I was in my cold shower; I had my guesses about Gerard and mikey. Surely enough when I got out two or three messages had popped up from both of them.

Mikey-hey candy what’s wrong with you?-

Gerard-spider monkey, what’s up?-

I didn’t even read the rest I just replied to both of them.

Joey-Go away-

They didn’t txt back, and I was glad. My guitar and I had a date tonight and I was going to stay cooped up in my room all day and night and write a few songs. That’s exactly what I did. When my mother came home she txted my phone to let me know and I told her I had tons of homework to do so I went back to writing. After my mother had laid herself and jack down my father came downstairs and did his nightly ritual. It was old. All he did was hit my and smack me a lot. Nothing new, yet it still freaking hurt! Shouldn’t my body be used to this kind of stuff?

 

 The rest of the week was something like today. Except, I didn’t sit by mikey or Gerard, I didn’t eat at all and I didn’t talk. I just walked to school every morning and ate nothing. My mother was starting to get worried about me. I told her it was probably just a bug and I would get over it soon, but in myself I knew I wouldn’t. I was depressed. There’s no way around it. That is the plain truth and until I realize that I won’t come out of this haze I am in. I tried my hardest not to realize it. I liked the lack of attention. I liked the fact that I could fit into a smaller pair of jeans and that people didn’t look at me anymore. I was just another kid that filled the halls and got in that popular kids way.

 

 The next Monday was different, very not un-eventful. It went something like this; everyone, including Gerard and mikey, we’re laughing because the class clown farted. I just kept quite. It wasn’t funny and so not real, duh people… a girl in front of me was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. She looked at me and pointed.

“What is wrong with you? Are you like some anorexic emo loser or what?” I thought I was going to explode right there. Everyone looked at us, even mikey and Gerard. Curse them.

“No unlike you I’m a real human being that doesn’t laugh at the stupidest thing possible just to get attention. For god’s sake you were crying!” I yelled.

“Who says I don’t have feelings?”

“If you heard me right I never even said anything about your feelings.”

“So what are you trying to say?” she stood up.

“You’re ugly and your mama dresses you funny.” I had wanted to say that to this girl for a long time, even if it made no sense. By now I was standing, too, and everyone was watching, even them. Gerard’s eyes looked sad. The girl’s fist came straight into my nose.

“What did you say?” I was so glad the teacher was out. I pushed her over the desk and stepped on her stomach.

“Did I stutter?” I kicked her ribs and bashed her face into the desk. Something inside me told me to stop myself, for once I listened and back off. She got up, stumbled and tried to throw another punch. I caught her fist, twisted her arm and brought her to her knees.

“You know what? I am sick and tired of you picking on me when this, “I pointed to her wrist. “Is done to me every night!” I was going to crack it, but someone’s hands pulled me back. With out thinking I swung my hand back and hit the unlucky person in the nose. I turned around. Gerard stumbled back and just stared, holding his now bloody nose. I watched mikey watch me. I felt horrible. My hand reached out to the girl’s. With a smile she took it, but swung me back and scooted out of the way before I could land on her. I landed on my back, my bruised back. It knocked the wind out of me, I tried to roll over, but I couldn’t find the breath in me to do so. The teacher finally walked in.

“What is going on?” he yelled, looked at me the girl and Gerard and then pointed us to the office. I couldn’t get up; my breathless lungs wouldn’t let me. I was having an asthma attack, I just knew it. I knew Gerard knew too, but he didn’t help me up. I didn’t blame him, heck I just hit the kid in the nose, but mikey came to my rescue. Apparently the angry side of my brain had taken control. I shoved him off and stumbled forward out into the hall. Streams of tears were falling down my face as we walked to the office. I kind of felt sorry for Gerard. I was going to say sorry, but I couldn’t find it in me. All three of us had detention every day for the rest of the week. Good going emo girl.

 

Reviews

[X_Emo_Princess_X]

Wow. nice. I feel so sorry for her and G. what the hell is going on?!