chapter 1 (rough work in progress)

Broken liquor bottles decorate the sides of the chilled tar. This road spills into a narrow one way street with thick forestry on each side. Every car that passes is lit up by the sun like stained glass. I'm in pursuit of a nimbus cloud but I fall behind, staring at the baby blue void in which it travels. The activity on the road gradually increases.

 

        Worn voice from a vehicle halted beside me. “Hey there uh, need a lift to school there, boy?”

 

        I point to the town in which I am parting. “The school is that way, you see, I'm not going”

 

        “It's a week day, you know, it's going to be in session. Don't want to get into any trouble, do you?”

 

        “A week day, huh? What is today?”

 

        “It's a Monday” the man leans out, closer inspecting me.

 

        “Monday? I hate Monday's. They don't smell right”

 

        “Is it because of my exhaust? How about we pretend it's a Friday?”

 

        “'If it's Friday, I'll end up drinking myself to sleep. Tuesday isn't a hangover day”, smiling sheepishly.

 

        “I used to be a weekend warrior myself. Say uh, I give you a lift to wherever you're headed and I tell you where alcohol got an old friend of mine” He leans to his right and unlocks the passenger side door.

 

        “I'm not the listening type. But have a good day, it could be your last in one of those things”

 

        The man heavily sighs as if to discard my presence and punctures his way back into traffic and herds along with the other commuters. I'm dissecting the distance as best as I can. The overgrowth of green steadily merges into an overhead canopy that sways back and forth, it's egging me on in this direction. These trees shed their deceased and clothe the nude street whom is becoming shy.

 

        “Thinking too much is dangerous, one day you might find yourself calling the road your home and giving tar some sort of character, and hell, that tar is about as lifeless as the men who laid it” Tired man dishes out his share of wisdom through out vital parts of my childhood.

        

Author's Note

Rough draft so far. I'm going to be editing this chapter a lot, and of course it's not finished.

Reviews

[hexylia]

Intriguing. you've got a good start to your character there, he's thoughful for his age, assumeing they're a he you never acualy say but you dont need to seeing that its assumed, im also thinkign that he's either 17 or 18 in highschool, and yet at the mention of drinkign himself to sleep you reveal some pain preasent. overall it creats a pleasing character that the reader wants to knwo more about.
'one-way'
"Worn voice from a vehicle halted beside me. " its a different way of introducing a new speaker, i like it, however may want to think abotu it.
also teh last paragraph, hes remembering somethign someone said to him? if thats so, italics would go nicely.

Write on!! im lookign forward to the edits ^.^