Eavesdropping On A Conversation Being Held On The Head Of A Pin

What if one day, while minding your own business, you happen to hear this...

Eavesdropping On A Conversation Being Held On The Head Of A Pin

“Can you believe it?”

“No, I can’t. That was just amazing!”

“What?”

“Six days!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Creation! Six days and it’s all done! Isn’t that what you’re talking about?”

“No, I mean that.”

“What?”

“That down there- that!”

“Oh, you mean them.”

“Yes, them, that, whatever! Can you believe it?”

“Well, it’s pretty hard not to seeing like they’re there and all.”

“No, you idiot! Can you believe He made them in His image?”

“Ah, yes, so He did.”

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

“It’s an outrage!”

“Why so?”

“HE CAN’T DO THAT!”

“Why not? He’s God. He can do as He pleases.”

“I know He’s God and He can do anything He wants, but why THEM in HIS IMAGE!”

“I don’t know, maybe He thought it would be esthetically pleasing.”

“Esthetically pleasing! More like arrogant if you ask me!”

“Now, Lou, are you still upset over that whole “Man Project” thing?”

“You bet I am. He put me in charge of that one and nothing was good enough for Him. I mean, I followed all the specifications to the letter.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Okay, so I improvised a little, but they were perfect! Especially the First Ones!”

“You mean the Golden Race?”

“Yes!”

“The ones who thought they were OUR equals, who didn’t eat or sleep? The ones who played around all day, talked alot of nonsense and aged backwards? The ones that had to be destroyed because they were about to-”

“Alright , alright, alright so they weren’t all THAT perfect. But, you have to admit, the Silver Ones were pretty?”

“Yes, they WERE pretty... and shiny too. But, weren’t they also the ones who were all of the same sex and all they wanted to do was to...”

“So they had a minor character flaw. It wasn’t like I didn’t try to fix it in the next ones.”

“The Bronze Ones? Didn’t they kill themselves off in no time at all? I even think they set a universal record for self-annihilation.”

“Well, at least they weren’t licentiously fornicating with each other.”

“Doing it WITH each other? No. Doing it TO each other would be more of what I would say.”

“The part that really gets me is that one day He just shows up, coughs up a really good one on the ground, and lo Mankind is born. I mean, He makes snotty mud-pies in His image and we’re just suppose to bow down to them and accept it! I can‘t! I just can‘t do it, Mike!”

 “Calm down. So, you had a few of failures, what of it? You can’t be perfect can you?”

“But I AM suppose to be perfect. I’m the “Shining One”, “The Enlightened”, I’m the one that’s supposed to be His Favorite Son! And now, they...they, they have come along and ruin EVERYTHING!”

“Now, now Lou, you know how fickle He can be. Remember Lilith?”

“Oh yeah, that’s right, His one mistake. God created man in His image; in the divine image He created him; male and female He created them. Yes, I remember that like it was just yesterday. He didn’t quite take on to her, did He, not like He did with the boy?”

“No, not at all. That’s why there’s Eve now. He didn’t like Lilith at all.”

“Hmmm, what happened to her, by the way?”

“Happened to who?”

“Lilith, you dunce! What happened to her? He didn’t destroy her, did He?”

“Oh no, no, no, no. He’s got her hidden away somewhere.”

“Where?”

“Mmmm, don’t know for sure... Somewhere.”

“Can I ask you a question? I’ve always thought of you as a sensible fellow, although a bit slow, and well... I need some advice and since it’s just you and me I thought...”

“Sure.”

“Do you think He’ll listen if I go to Him and speak what’s on my mind? I mean, you don‘t think He‘ll be angry with me, or anything like that, do you?”

“Naw, don’t worry about it Lou. The Old Man is actually quite reasonable, it’s all on how you approach Him. As a matter of fact, now would probably be the best time since he’s taking it easy and so He’ll be really relaxed.”

“You think so, Mike? Do you think He’ll listen to me?”

“You won’t know until you try.”

“Thanks Mike, you’re the best brother any guy could ever have, I really mean it. That’s what I’ll do, then, I’ll go over there and tell Him what I really think and what should be done around here.”

“Good, good, excellent idea and remember to appear strong and willful, you know how He is about weaknesses. Show Him who could possibly succeed Him if, if...well, never mind about that, just put on a good show!”

“I will!”

“And remember to ask about Lilith, He‘ll be sure to tell you where she‘s at.”

“I won’t forget!”

“Good!”

“I’ll go there right now!”

“Great!”

“And, Michael?”

“Yes?”

“I take back all the mean things I’ve said about you.”

“That’s okay, Big Bro, I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Oh, but I did. Wish me luck!”

Lucifer leaves.

The soon to be Archangel Michael then said to himself, “Yeah, good luck, you’re going to need it. Well, that’s one down.”