Clare

Do you know Clare? You may not know her by that name, but I bet you do.

“Clare”


I don’t give a s**t what they think! I don’t give a s**t at all. They didn’t have to make fun of me that day, f**k, all them days. And since they did I had to do sumthin especially when Amanda Sanger done what she did. She’s the worst of them all with her snotty-nose comments actin’ all like her s**t-don’t-stink. She and her made up hair and her face all prettied up like it was done up all professional like. S**t, wonder how good she blows with them lips- betcha that’s how she makes her hair stay in place, its all that jizz in her hair, hahaha. I know, mama said I shouldn’t be sayin things like that, but damn, she make me so mad sometimes. Tommy, too, he pissed me off fer doin what he did! I hate him!

I means, the other day, well it started okays, really, I means, I wasn’t feelin real well cause of the cramps I got last night but mama told me I had to go to schools anyways. So, I was walkin to school like I always do and on the way I meet Tommy, he’s my best bud or he was anyways, and we walked likes we have been fer years. Anyways, here we are walkin and we were ‘bout a couple blocks from school when we run into Amanda and her friends riding in her car. It’s a Mustang, all red, and she had the top down. So, here they come and they must have seen us walkin cause they slowed down and was followin us as we walked.  I heard Tommy say in a low voice, “D-d-don’t say nuthin, just keep walkin if they st-t-tart somethin.”

And I was ‘bout to do just that whens I heard someone yell, I think it was Cindy Meyers or Emily Simmons- one them b*****s anyways, sayin, “wha-wha-wha what did you say? Can’t hear you, Mouse.” All them uppity kids call Tommy ‘Mouse’ on account of that he is short fer his age and kinda scrawny and when Chris Sayles threaten to punch him one day he said Tommy squeaked “like a little mouse”. He don’t like that name at all.

“Come on Mouse, cat got your tongue? Hahaha.” They all laughed at Cindy’s lame joke.

I saw Tommy’s face get all red and I knew he was gettin upset. I was just hopin he wouldn’t start bawlin cause that would really make things worst. Imagine a 17 year-old boy still bawlin like a baby. Least when I get pissed I just feel like hittin somethin and not go cryin- especially in front of them b*****s.

“How about you, Moose? Why aren’t you saying anything?” That was Amanda, she’s the one that came up with that name for me. Guess its because I’m a big girl and kinda awkward like. I don’t knows why, really, alls I knows is she just started it one day and soon it was all over the school. I would walk down the hallways and people would say the name and giggle. One time someone wrote it on my locker with a picture of a moose, or somethin thinkin it look like a moose. Anyways, I knows what my mama told me about ‘stick and stones’ but it still hurts anyways. I means, I can remember back when we was in first, or second grade when we used to be friends. Me, Amanda and Tommy would play together over at my house. But things started to change around the time we all got to junior high. She didn’t want to play with us no more and started to get all hateful and s**t. Mama said that she’s just jealous. Jealous? Of what? I ain’t got nuthin for her to be jealous about. I ain’t the one with the car, the pretty clothes, the good make-up and the pretty blonde hair. I ain’t the one with all the cool friends, s**t I was glad I still had Tommy! I ain’t got none of that and I told mama that! She said there’s more to life then all those things, there’s family. Then she told me how Amanda’s mom left her dad and her and how they got divorced and she don’t see her mama no more. Mama said that’s why she’s jealous on account she ain’t got no mama. S**t, remembering how bad of a drunkin w***e she was, if I was Amanda, I wouldn’t be missin her at all .

Anyways, they were still followin in the car, all slow like, and whisperin and gigglin and then one of them said, Emily this time I think, she said, “Mouse and Moose f****n under a tree F-U-C-K-I-N-G. Hahahaha.”

Then Cindy said, “Now wait a minute, Em, how can a mouse dick f**k a moose? Hehehehehe, ‘mouse dick’, hahahaha.”

“Yeah, that’s what we should call you now, Mouse- Mouse Dick!”, is what Emily said back.

Then Cindy said, “What about ‘F**k-a-Moose’?”

And Emily then said, “Who gives a fuckamoose!” And they all started laughin and gigglin again.

Then Amanda spoke up and said to Tommy, “Hey, Tommy you want a ride?” First, I was surprise she even said anything to him since she always ignored him, let alone call him by his name. Then I realized she was offerin him a ride! She even stopped the car to let him in! The other two girls, they must’ve thought she was going to prank him or somethin, cause they didn’t seem surprised and all. I just kept thinkin to myself, “Don’t do it, Tommy, don’t do it.”

Then she said, “Come on, Tommy what you say? Wanna ride? We’ll even let you hang out with us before school, how about it?”

Then I just couldn’t believe it, but Tommy said, “you s-s-serious? Y-y-y-ou’d let me hangs out with you?”  I just stopped in my tracks as I saw Tommy run fer the car and got in. Yeah, got in! Amanda didn’t pull away or nuthin, she just let him in the back seat with Emily! Then she said, “Guess you don’t have no more friends, Moose.” I could see Tommy flinch a little when she said that but he didn’t say or do nuthin. Some friend?
 
Then, somethin inside just came out. Maybe cause I wasn’t feelin too good or because of what Tommy had just done made me mad, but I said somethin hateful that I had never said so before. I said, “You must have blowin your daddy pretty good to get that car.”

They all just looked at me all stunned and s**t cause they’d never heard me say anythin like that before. And Amanda, she was pissed, really pissed! So, she threw the car in park, got out and started to gettin in my face yellin, “What did you just say to me!”

Maybe I was still shocked myself over what I said or just still mad but I said, “You heard me, you suck yer daddy’s dick.”

She got so mad then she slapped me across the face and knocked my glasses off and that really did it.  I just couldn’t take it no more. I grabbed her by her hair and pulled her down, got on top and started to wump on her. I can’t remember fer sure how long I had her pinned down or how long I was punching her, s**t, I can’t even remember the crowd that turned up to see it. Alls I can remember is just going on and on until someone pulled me off.

The school police sent me to the principal’s office afterwards. My mama came to pick me up and after she and the principal talked in his office we went home and I was suspended fer three days. Mama said Mister Sanger called her the next day and at first she was afraid that he was going to sue or send me to jail. He said nuthin like that and was just wonderin if I was doin okays. She said I was and nuthin more was ever said about it. When I got back to school, Amanda wasn’t back either but I had heard that she had to go to the hospital for a broken nose and stitches and that her face was all swollen up and s**t. They also said that she’ll probably need surgery to fix her nose on account it’s all fucked up and she can’t breath right through it. She never did come back to school and some even said I murdered her. Soon, though, we all heard the Sangers moved out of town and I never saw Amanda ever gain. They’s all afraid of me now, even Tommy won’t talk to me no more. F**k’em! They don’t even mess with me no more.

So, yeah I don’t give a s**t what they think. As far as I’m concern, it was all worth it.