Alien vs Lo Mein

What if we sent out invitations to others in outer space and no one came.

I have always been baffled by the arrogance human beings have in thinking that they are important enough to be noticed by extraterrestrial benefactors. To me this is substituting one superstition for another; God for little gray men. Do I believe it’s happened? happening? will happen? No, or at least not for the reasons we assume.  

I mean, let’s break this down;

1. Why would an advanced civilization cross hundreds of light-years across the galaxy to come to an ordinary, main sequence stellar system with only one planet that can obviously support life? It’s like traveling to Shanghai, China from San Francisco, California just to buy Lo Mein from a specific corner street vendor. Why bother? unless it’s damn good Lo Mein! Sorry, in the scheme of things, I don’t think we’re THAT good.

2. Let’s say they have reasons for which can not understand (after all, they’re not human so they wouldn’t think the way we do) and they travel all the way over here for our Lo Mein. Why settle for just that when you can have a whole buffet? What I mean is, all the territory that had to be covered between “home” and the Earth should have already been incorporated. If that is so, then we must already be enveloped within a vast region claimed by a far superior power (kinda what the U.S. did when they took possession of the Louisiana Purchase territory and  we know what resulted from that). Ok, where are they? The alternative is to believe they hopped across the ocean for our damn good Lo Mein!

3. If you are going to go through all that trouble for that “damn good” Lo Mein, why not get the recipe and take it home with you. You can start whole franchises of “Damn Good Lo Mein” around your neighborhood without traveling so far to get it.  The worst that can happen is getting sued for stealing the recipe. If that’s the case, we need better lawyers.