Wild Monkey Sex

A unique view to a potentially growing trend.

It should be known that wild monkey sex is a long lost art form that is expertly executed by only a few number of devotees due to the hazards involved. This is not an endeavor that should be taken up lightly by anybody and must only be engaged with full attention and concentration. Many amateurs who have taken up the sport believing that they can master its subtleness find themselves either hospitalized, or worst, permanently scarred for life. It is because of this that many who have failed have taken to ridiculing both wild monkey sex, and its practitioners, with witticisms and false rumors (a little like polo, curling, and "salad tossing' -more about salad tossing another time).

Some of our greatest Americans were into simian sex (or S&S, as it is known among the "Simmies") such as Elvis (how do you think he got that "hip-action" thing), Charlton Heston (the "dirty ape" line in the original 'Planet of the Apes' was his idea), and President Richard M. Nixon (on second thought, don't try picturing that).
Although I do not participate nor advocate the practice, I do want to point out that the long ridiculing of these individuals should end and society should accept them as they would any other deviant sexual practice (like 'granny f*****g', 'brownie-facials', and so on).

I hope this helps to clarify a little about this long shunned group of individuals. For more information I understand that there are several peer groups on the web or try either www.whoshockthemonkey.org or www.spankthestupidmonkey.org.


P.S. By the way, I've heard that when you try wild monkey sex for the first time it's good to use a high quality duct tape. You know, to wrap around the monkey's...well, I mean- you don't want them to explode, do you?