Understanding Men, Part 2

Further thoughts about sex.

The humorous piece I wrote about men pointed out some observations I have made about male behavior and wasn't meant to point out anything bad (or good) about them, just what is. From a male prospective sex, food, and maximum returns with minimal effort are praiseworthy goals to achieve. I know, when you try to break it down and make sense out of it your face scrunches up into contortions and you say, "eh?", but that's how it is. It’s hardwired into them. It’s been a part of the male condition since...since, well, since there have been males.

Long ago, when unicellular organisms were the only thing around the main concern was getting food and making enough copies of yourself to keep your kind around. The only problem with that strategy was that as soon as things changed (your food found a way to get away from you, or you’ve suddenly found yourself on somebody else’s menu) you couldn’t change fast enough and usually ended up extinct. A way had to be found to mix the gene pool a bit (yeah, bacteria tried doing some mixing by intrusively inserting genetic material into each other but that never guaranteed results and it got a little too messy much to the dissatisfaction of both parties) and thus Nature found sex as a solution.

Sex can be defined as the interaction between two gametes of the same species having different genetic make up inherited through separate familial lines. Having been to several family reunions this definition works well (unless you live in some back wood places in Kentucky). Needless to say that it didn’t take long before differences between the two players in this game of survival began to take on characteristics that would some day define one as “male” and the other “female”. Males became motile wonderers seeking to spread as much of themselves as they could while the females sat and waited for some kind of commitment. The males contributed little into the relationship (other then their genes) while the females had to take care of the actual work and give birth. Somewhere along all that, males discovered that since they already contribute very little it would be even more ideal to contribute less thus the design for what eventually would become the hallmark of all males everywhere was born. It’s amazing that with so little effort provided we as a species, hell, life itself was able to continue on this planet. But, that is where the feminine part of the equation comes in. For if it weren’t for the female side picking up the slack we would’ve probably ended up a dead rock of slime.

As for women, yeah, so many of you have pointed out that they too have their undesirable traits. Women can be mean, katty and petty. When it comes to an unforgivable infraction they never, EVER forget! But face it- isn't just great watching two women go at it! I mean, there's the slow build-up ("don't know who you think you are and I DON'T CARE, but I hear you've been talking about me behind my back"), the returning volley ("what you looking at, b***h-I know you ain't looking at me!"), the back and forth firing (Yeah, I'm looking at you, b***h"... "w***e"... "s**t") before all out war is declared ("I'M GOING TO KICK YO' A*S! BIATCH!"). Men can get belligerent with each other, argue and then have a knock out, bare knuckle fight before soon and afterwards share a drink. Women fights can last for years (even decades) never growing stale ("I told you I'd kick your a*s, and I did", "Yeah, well I was with your boyfriend last night and he told me ALL ABOUT YOUR SKANKY A*S!", "AHHHH, B***H, YOU ASKIN FOR IT NOW!") and you have to admit if you are not involved in it and just watching-damn, it's fun!