Chapter 2

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The next day, I arrived at school early, my head pounding. Eddi saw me heading over and quickly turned away. I grabbed her arm.

“Eddi, please just listen to me,” I begged. She raised an eyebrow at me. I took it as a sign to go on. “I was so drunk, I don’t what happened. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do it.”

“That really doesn’t matter, Jake, the point is you did it,” she replied, and began to walk away. I followed her. She glanced back at me, and that was when she started running. Apparently I can’t take a hint, because I started running after her. And suddenly we weren’t in the school anymore. We were in the street, and I was shouting her name and shoving people out of the way, trying to keep up with her. That day, both of our lives changed.

 

I can still hear that terrible gunshot and the echo of the ambulance siren in my head. I will never, ever be able to forget that day, no matter how much I want to. I can only vaguely remember pulling out my phone and dialling, but the vision of Eddi, lying in a pool of her own blood at my feet, is etched upon my memory.  It took me a long time to notice her, much too long. Who knows what difference those minutes could’ve made.

 

I sat beside her bed, holding her hand. I hated hospitals, with their clean, white walls and their disinfectant smell. This was the place where people became so sick they couldn’t hold a glass of water. This was the place where people died. Please don’t let it be Eddi. That same morning, our lives had been totally normal. It’s amazing how much can change in just a few hours. I hated that guy in the hoodie with a passion, a passion so great it was eating me alive. I closed my eyes and prayed. I’d never prayed before. I wasn’t a big believer in that sort of thing, but if there was any chance it would help Eddi, then of course I would do it. God, please don’t let her die. She’s a good person. She doesn’t deserve this. Why couldn’t it have been me?

“Edwina, darling?” I turned quickly to see Eddi’s parents standing in the doorway. Her father was almost as short as Eddi, with round glasses and a cheerful smile. There was no trace of his smile that day. His wife was a little taller, and her eyes were so like Eddi’s, I suddenly found I couldn’t swallow. I was overcome by a huge wave of guilt. It was my fault these people’s daughter was in a hospital bed.

“Jacob…” began Mrs Carter, at a loss for words. I nodded.

“I guess I’ll go get some ice-cream or something,” I said, letting go of Eddi’s hand. As soon as it was gone, I missed it. Someone should’ve been holding her hand.

“Jacob, thank you,” Mrs Carter said, her voice quiet and strained as tears poured down her face.

“For what?” I asked, confused.

“For getting her here,” she answered, wiping her cheek. “She would have no chance if it wasn’t for you.” She wouldn’t even be in this situation if it wasn’t for me.  

 

I didn’t really want ice-cream. Hospital food is the worst, and besides, what sort of person could eat when their girlfriend had been shot? Everything that happened at Angela’s party seemed so ridiculously insignificant. Out in the real world, there are much bigger problems. But stuff like that wasn’t supposed to happen to me, or my friends- sixteen-year-olds with our whole lives ahead of us. But it happened, and there was no way I could change it. I was taken by surprise when someone rushed at me and their arms went around me, warm and comforting. The smell of pastry. My mother. My wonderful, fantastic mother. She was there. She wanted to take me home. I didn’t want to go. I had to be there, all the time, every minute. If Eddi was going to wake up, I needed to be there. If she was going to die… I couldn’t even think about it. But I needed to know the second she improved, or her condition worsened.

 

Eddi was an amazing person; the best I knew. Her real name was Edwina Carter, but she hated it. Everyone called her Eddi. She was short and red-headed, and her smile was enough to make the world turn upside down. She had a lot of friends and a lot of family. People loved her. And they had every reason to. She knew exactly how to cheer me up, whether to push me or just let me be. I felt like she understood me, and there weren’t many people that did. How does something like this happen to someone like that? What kind of screwed-up God allows this stuff?

 

There were many times on that day when I convinced myself I was going to hunt down the hoodie guy and shoot him like he shot an innocent bystander. This plan never went further than an angry thought- I couldn’t leave the hospital, not for anything. All I wanted was for things to go back to the way they were, before it all collapsed around me.

“Jacob?” I looked up. It was Mrs Carter. “We’re going home to get some of our things. We’ll be back in an hour or so, but we just thought someone should be with Eddi.” She had no idea how much I appreciated those words.

“Of course.” I stood up and walked back down the corridor. Second door on the left. I almost fainted at the sight of her, lying so small and frail; her face white, her fingers cold. I sunk into the chair beside her bed and reached for her hand again. Mrs Carter was right. Someone needed to be with her. For the first time, I let a tear escape. It trickled down to my chin and I made no effort to wipe it away. I almost jumped out of my seat at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

 

I looked around to see a tall, slim girl with short, purple hair that screamed ‘rebel’ loud and clear.  She had a pretty face, but the heavy eyeliner gave her a very gothic look which scared me a bit. I could even see the edges of a crude tattoo under the sleeve of her t-shirt. Her eyes were brown and unremarkable, but I saw something in them, something I couldn’t identify. Maybe it was pain, or death, or anger, or misery… I don’t know.

“Can I help you?” I queried, my voice shaking. She studied me intently for a moment, then glanced at Eddi.

“I’m here to see her,” she said softly, gesturing at the hospital bed. Her voice was quiet yet commanding, and for some reason it sent chills up my spine.

“How do you know Eddi?”

“Ah, we used to go to primary school together.”

“Oh, you went to Forest Lake?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Well, it’s nice that you took the time to come and see her. I didn’t know news travelled that fast… Um, so, what’s your name?” Again, it was a moment before she replied.

“Rachel.” I had expected it to be something far more sinister. I wasn’t sure what to say next. I was holding Eddi’s hand with both of mine and I could just picture what my girlfriend would have to say about Rachel: “Clearly, she wants to seem all cool and whatever, but really, it’s just a sign of  insecurity. And my God, what sort of back alley did she get that tattoo in?” I smiled a little bit, and noticed the girl staring at me. I had no idea why, but she really creeped me out.