The world was ending....

One of my crazy dreams.

I saw a weird dream today. The world was ending. As usual, I was sleeping in the hot afternoon. I am a carefree girl who doesn’t bother until something becomes too important. After two hours of long sleep, I woke up. I was still yawning. There was a balcony in my dream through which things at long distance; mountains, rivers, beaches could be seen (anything can happen in dream). My mom pointed towards that balcony and urged me to see what went wrong. What I saw was similar to movie 2012. I was stunned. My mom hadn’t seen that movie so she took time to understand what happened. I searched the net. Yahoo had already put up a timeline indicating hours left to end for each city. Only one hour more for my city. I cried and told mom about the s**t happening outside. My mom laughed and said, ‘At least you should laugh at last moment. So what! We all are ending together.  Then cry for what sweetheart!’ I started praying god not to end world soon. All that I realised was we should protect earth. Mother earth. I promised god that I’ll personally look after earth and make sure everything is okay. And my cruel dream broke. Everything was fine! So there is a moral after this dream. PROTECT EARTH, IF YOU WANT YOURSELF TO BE PROTECTED. Things are simpler….             

Author's Note

I wrote this piece just after seeing a weird dream. I was sleepy when I was writing it. I didn't proof read it before posting it here.

Reviews

[AK]

Nice piece! I like your message! But I noticed a few things...
The whole piece consists of sentences of many different tenses. Usually, all the sentences in a piece are in the same tense,
The flow of the piece is a bit inconsistent. You might want to try putting sentences on each topic together and make separate stanzas for each topic. It is just a suggestion of course.
With a little editing, and use of higher vocabulary, this piece will become fantastic! Kudos! Keep writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

"PROTECT EARTH, IF YOU WANT YOURSELF TO BE PROTECTED. Things are simpler…."
The Earth does need our protection. Man had destroy the air, the sea and the earth. If we don't stop cutting trees down and destroying the rain forest. We could be on the list of instinct life. Your nightmare is coming true. I like the honest and directness of the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[SUGATA M]

Nice and a very timely message...

[Pencrafter]

I love sci-fi (see my picture) and enjoyed some of that movie. Your description of the dream was vivid. I could imagine myself standing on your balcony and watching the events you describe. If a writer can draw the reader into such a scene then you have been successful in communicating your thoughts. Your writing makes more sense than many of the pieces I've read on the Cafe. We need to beware of films and stories about the end of the world. They are produced by people and corporations wanting to make a profit. Their goal is not to help people or change society. You have good imagination and a flair for writing. By the way, I usually will not read or review content that has profanity, sexually explicit or grossly violent descriptions.

[khalid]

people spoil everything..lets imagine how earth was before mankind..i think it was very clean and pure... after people have come to earth, they made it really spoiled..i think your dream of changing earth into clean planet is the dream of every person on earth...
i have really enjoyed reading this..
thank you for sharing

[emman]

Nice story..I had a dream like that also :) I wasn't scared because it was just a dream

[Sethnicity]

The best laid plans of mice and men....
Keep working that idea out okay.

[Matthew vonHone]

Okay, this sounds like an interesting story premise, but it's very disjointed and lacking of coherent detail. This is something that I would call a great start to a brainstorming session, but it needs to be fleshed out in more detail. I would love to see you go further with this, but it seems a bit undone. Sorry, I don't mean to be discouraging. You seem to have potential ... keep writing.