Universe

a milky expanse dotted by constellations of moles

crescent lips cradle a black hole that always draws me in

twin planets greener than the one we're on have me in constant orbit

all astronauts get lost in you

and I fear that I have too

Reviews

[Cyndy Robinson]

Love the love poem, lol. I love the metaphor, it was very well done. The only suggestion I would make is to break the 3rd line up into more lines. I am not sure why it is so long compared to the rest of the poem.

[stargirl23]

Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. I edited it, does it flow better now?

[Carolynn]

This sounds like such a mature write, of being drawn to someone who has an amazing aura about them so you're just one of many left out in space (kinda like the phrase "she's way out of my league")

[stargirl23]

Thank you :)

[Ruth]

Wow...this is impressive Adi :) The metaphor is superb...

[stargirl23]

Thank you so much!

[midnight soul searcher]

I love the words chosen for r
This poem and yet im speechless all i can say is astounding

[stargirl23]

Thank you for your kind words:)

[alifeacoustic]

Superb write Adi. I love the perspective of you being the viewer in this free show of colour and light, pointing out to all who see the intricacies of this universe we live in and somehow manage to fail to see the beauty and majesty of just simply being alive on a spinning rock within this site.
Love it.

[stargirl23]

Thank you again and I loved reading this review seeing as you got a whole new meaning out of the poem than what I had in mind!

[alifeacoustic]

You're welcome. That's the great thing about poetry, when we feel something unintentional in the words from a different perspective. Thanks.