Rebirth

This came to me over the last couple of weeks, after suffering from endless trials that I am now starting to get over.

This mind of mine wanders endlessly in times of idle being.

Frequently I used to pass by the scattered pages of my torn heart's trials.

Amongst the tattered wasteland of my memory presided a single stream of hope.

The end of this stream was intersected by the meadow of memories to come, and there laid a page out of place.

Even amongst the excited colors of my optimism, this page was determined to stand out even brighter than the sun that shines above us.

I tried to drop, at that moment, my desire to observe the page, and tried to act against the passion that burned in my bosom, which egged me to take a closer look. 

Yet time and idleness rendered my mind weak, weak enough to eventually allow myself to give into my foolish desire.

Overcome with blazing emotions, my mind dropped the page as it suddenly became engulfed in flames, a flame that came to burn away any last hope left within me. 

Morbid, I stared at the page, my love ruined; something that could've been so beautiful now took flight as the bitter breeze sapped away any desire of mine to go on. 

Still it lived on, and plagued my mind with bouts of unconventional fear, as I attempted to drive the memory from its firm embedment.

To no avail, my mind tried to rid itself of the torturous memory, and at the slightest reoccurence it would send a tremor through my body. 

Till today my memory of the flame burns on, and impairs clear thought and rational emotions. 

Lately though, with an unsurmountable amount of attempts to pry the page from my memory, my being is now able to focus again on the pleasing affects constituted by my meadow, and the optimism of what I expect to come. 

There, in the youthful meadow, a new page was found, with the image of a familiar man.

This being proves to be a rake, transformed by the youthful and foolish mistakes that had once plagued me. 

He, as I looked ever closely, winked at me as he uttered his name, "I am you; wait and see what this future self has in store for you."

These words enthralled my being, and at once the barren wasteland that housed my prior memories melted away.

In its place was a vast meadow stemmed from my heightened optimism. 

This optimism also gave birth to a new Armani, the man within the picture, an ardent rake that now took a seat on his throne of undetestable pleasure and heart-driven desires.

 

The point of man, and my sole endeavor, is to live a life of absolute pleasure.

Reviews

[Hope]

The rebirth of who you are. An immense rebirth. I love the lines, "overcome with blazing emotions, my mind dropped the page as it suddenly became engulfed in flames, a flame that came to burn away any last hope left within me/Morbid, I stared at the page, my love ruined; something that could've been so beautiful now took flight as the bitter breeze sapped away any desire of mine to go on." Amazing write!

[Syke]

Really great. Is it inspired by a real event? The word choice is excellent and the story has a certain...beautiful...no, true quality to it that is just amazing. The only negative I can think of is that it seems to hesitate between a metaphorical poem and a descriptive short story. Some great lines were "This mind of mine wanders endlessly in times of idle being.", "Amongst the tattered wasteland of my memory presided a single stream of hope.", "Yet time and idleness rendered my mind weak...","...a flame that came to burn away any last hope left within me.", "To no avail, my mind tried to rid itself of the torturous memory", "These words enthralled my being, and at once the barren wasteland that housed my prior memories melted away.", and "There, in the youthful meadow, a new page was found, with the image of a familiar man.", but most of the lines are good. Some possible typos include "Till today my memory of the flame burns on, and impairs clear thought and rational emotions." which should probably begin "still", "until" or "'till" ; "This being proves to be a rake" should probably use "proved" and "The Rake" or "A Rake" as I believe you're using it as a proper noun. "he uttered his name, "I am you..." is a little odd, "I am you" is not really his name, and he continues to speak so changing that up would probably be a good idea; "In its place was a vast meadow stemmed from my heightened optimism. " Should either get rid of the was or change stemmed to stemming, and the 2nd to last light should probably capitalize "rake". Overall a great job, but you might want to make two versions, one a poem, the other a short story.

[Guardian]

It was fantatic. Very beautiful and very heartfelt. The word choice was fantastic and it had a very old-fashioned feel to it that portrayed a unique perspective. Nicely done.