Victoria's Secret

Hands clasped, eyes tired. 2:18 pm read the clock, that means only 52 more minutes left of school. That means 52 minutes until she gets to see Ricardo, and that gives Ricardo 52 minutes to clean his apartment, making sure no traces are left behind. Vanessa was so deeply rooted in love with Ricardo, and Ricardo, well, he was fond of Vanessa. She couldn’t wait to hop into his 2005 Nissan Altima and road trip for ten hours to the special room they had reserved for this weekend at the in The Venetian hotel Las Vegas. They would get into the room and once the door was locked and all of their belongings were thrown on the floor they wou- the bell rang.

She squeezed her way through the crowded hall and finally reached the outdoors. She didn’t see Rico’s (a nickname she had picked up for him) car where he usually parked. She leaned up against a light post and scrolled through her Twitter feed.

“Hey!” She looked to her left, they heard laughing coming from the right. There he was, standing in his grey collared shirt, light washed jeans, and a nice pair of black suede dress shoes. His black fluff of hair that is in some sort of comb over form is neatly parted to the left side. He runs his hands through it a couple of times then shakes it and forms it again. She smiles seeing him do his clearly practiced routine.

“Sorry I’m late, there was a little bit of traffic,” he says brushing off his pants. But she knows that there is no traffic the way he comes and she notices that his hair is a little ruffled when usually he cleans it up before he comes and gets her. That means he was doing something and was rushed when he came here to get her she thinks. She shrugs, not looking much into it, she’s just happy to see him finally.

“It’s fine don’t worry about it, I’m just happy that I finally get to see you,” she says smiling as she opens the passenger and hops in the car. She sets her backpack in the back seat and notices a little Victoria’s Secret bag in the back with tissue paper in it. She sits back in the seat and waits for him to give it to her, she has always loved anything that he has gotten her from there.

He starts the car and the road trip begins. They go and get food at a Carl’s Jr. they saw before they left town.

“Hi welcome to Carl’s Jr. would you like to try our new El Diablo burger today?” The perky female taking orders asks them.

“Uh hi no thank you, can I please get a Garden Side Salad with a 6 piece chicken star along with uh,” he squints at the menu, “a Big Carl and an order of onion rings please thank you- oh! Almost forgot about drinks, Nes (a nickname he had picked up for her) what do you want?” He asks, turning his attention away from the lady to Vanessa. She answers with a smile on her face, “and one-no make that two, two Oreo Milkshakes please.” The lady reads back everything, gives them their total, and they slowly make their way over to the next window.

They’ve been on the road for about eight hours now and they’ve made some stops along the way, to get some snacks and to just walk around a little. They are almost at their hotel and Vanessa decides to take a nap until they arrive. She falls fast asleep and Ricardo finally, after 8 hours of being with her, finally pulls out his phone from the abyss that is his pocket. He sees that Melissa has tected 6 times. He glances over at Vanessa who is in deep sleep, he knows this because her mouth is wide open and she is drooling all over his seat belt. He glances back to the road, then at his phone.

“Hey how’s the drive babe?

Have fun on your business trip!

I love you, can’t wait to see you when you get back

I can’t stop thinking about you<3

Can’t wait to see what you bought me from VS

I hope  I get to wear it on the night you get back ;)” Is what the messages all read. He smiles but quickly loses it, for he knows that if Nesa were to wake up she would ask what he is smiling about and ask him to show it to her. He replies with a simple “Can’t wait to see you too baby, I miss you too. See you soon <3 you more.” She awakens.

“Morning sleepy head,” he says with a smile and shifts in his seat, adjusting his hand on the wheel. She attempts to sit up and laughs when she realizes she drooled and how much.

“How long was I out for?” She manage to get out in a croaked voice due to her stretching.

“Just enough time, here we are,” he says as he signals to the right and turns into the parking lot of the beautiful hotel. They get their belongings and make their way to the doors. They walk inside and are immediately in awe. There are fancy designs on the wall and the color gold everywhere. Strands of thick gold pieces wrap around each other in a sphere like shape and it was on a fairly large round table. They walked over to the check in counter and go everything situated. The hotel itself wasn’t even the best part,once they reached their rooms. Right when they opened the door there was the bed to the right. A little further forward was a little living room area with a couch, a TV, a little table, a foot stool, and a jaw dropping view of the city. To the left of the entrance was the kitchen area and in there was a table for two (they got the couple’s suite) along with a dishwasher, a refrigerator, etc. To the right of the entrance before the bed was the way to the stunning bathroom area. Right when they walk in was a bath a little farther away, the toilet being first on the left hand side and across from the toilet on the right was the shower. Next to the bathtub on both the right and the left was one sink on both sides along with a mirror and some hotel toiletries.

“This room is… I don’t even have words to describe it,” Vanessa says as she starts to slowly unpack her things, still taking in the room and looking around.

“Had to get the best for the best,” Ricardo says as he walks over to Vanessa. He holds her by the waist and they both smile. They kiss for a good 5 seconds, breathing in and releasing the air once that kiss was broken.

Eventually after a little fooling around here and there, they get situated with everything and finally have time to relax. They are each showered and well fed by the good yet not so good hotel food. They move over to the living room area and cuddle on the couch for a little while and turn on the TV. They end up watching South Park and that’s when Ricardo’s phone buzzes. He turns down his brightness, and glances at Vanessa. He unlocks his phone only to reveal an explicit photo that Melissa has to sent to him and said “missing you” with a kissy face and a heart. He quickly hides his phone and goes back to watching the show. Vanessa notices something is definitely up with him the moment he picked up his phone. She readjusts herself in his arms and debates whether to ask him what it was or not. She doesn’t want to ruin the weekend so she decides against it.

“So, when’re you going to let me try on the lingerie you bought me from VS?” Vanessa asks, trying to get something out of him maybe. She feels his heartbeat speed up and he shifts beneath her.

“Oh, you saw that?” He asks, trying to recall how she could've possibly seen the gift in the back seat of his car, “oh uh ye-yeah I’ll go and get it right now.” He jogs out to his car and when he gets to the car he just stands there. He leans his back against the car and hesitates as he unlocks the door. He grabs the bag and throws the romantic note that was for Melissa into the garbage can of their kitchen as he returns to where Vanessa is seated on the couch.

“Here you go,” he says as he hands her the Victoria’s Secret bag with a shaky hand. She smiles weakly and heads straight to the bathroom. Ricardo sits in silence on the bed, trying not to absolutely freak out. Vanessa is in the bathroom trying it on. She notices it’s medium, even tho Ricardo knows she is in fact is a small. She takes the tag off and heads out. The lace fits her bottom just right, but is a little loose around her hips and her breasts. She walks over to the kitchen garbage can and thrown the tag away.

“Wo-wow you look so, so sexy,” Ricardo says as he slowly pushes himself off of the couch and over to her. He notices she is practically frozen and looking down with her back faced towards him, “wha-what’s the matter Nesa-?” But before he can finish his sentence she has turned around and is holding the romantic note that he had written for Melissa in her hand. Her eyes are watery and she knows exactly what this means.

“This is what those ‘late nights at work’ were? And the reason why you never took off Saturday nights at work? So that you could go and do her and not make more money like you said you were doing? Oh my gosh, you-you,” she tries to choke out. She realizes that that’s the reason why he was late too picking her up today and why his hair wasn’t combed over all nice and neat like it usually is. And that’s why he couldn’t go to her house and see her a couple days ago because he said he was “working late” and that he had an early shift that next morning. Everything is all coming back and making sense to her now. She drops the note on the floor and simply walks to the bathroom. Ricardo is begging her to say something as he asks her all sorts of questions and says how he’s sorry over and over and that Melissa means nothing to him. She goes in the bathroom and locks the door. She takes off the one piece and puts her pajamas back on. She walks out of the door and goes into bed.

“I don’t want to talk for the rest of the night,” she says, “I just want to lie here with you and fall asleep. We can talk tomorrow.” She rolls on her side and soon drifts asleep before she knows it.

Ricardo wakes up and realizes that he has fallen off of the couch, probably happened in the middle of the night. He stretches and sits up, twisting his back and lifting his arms up high. He arches his back and slowly stands up. He walks over to the bed and notices it’s neatly made and there is no trace of Vanessa to be found. There is a note on the counter.

“Have a wonderful life, I still love you.” Is all it read. Next to it was a plate of food that looked like it was from the hotel buffet. Ricardo sighed and sat down, he ate his food in silence.

Reviews

[Christina]

I love the last line of the first paragraph, it already leaves some type of secret-y vibes that leaves the reader wondering what they did.

Maybe instead of adding parenthesis from explaining the nick name you should just leave it out, to keep up with the secrecy and gives the reader the chance to figure it out on their own. By doing that you are exposing a sense of their relationship.

[J.C]

Your story was really well written. I really liked how everything played out and the words you used to describe moments. There are a few grammar mistakes here and there. Maybe add a little description of what was going through his mind when she saw the note? Since he had a side chick, it'd be interesting to see what his reaction was and how he felt. Overall, I really enjoyed this story.