Sweets and Vegetables

My response to the subject of the biological explanation of homosexuality.

Sweets and Vegetables

    One day a close friend of mine asked me for my opinion on a topic of which I rarely speak on, but has kind of been an itch I’ve been anxious to scratch. The topic at hand was my view on the biological explanation of homosexuality. I explained to my dear friend that the only way I could do this is to answer the question on my own behalf and not on the behalf of the rest of the gay community. The reason for this is that I really don't like to consider myself a part of the gay community, for one, because I don't think gay is really all that serious. The only thing I feel I have in common with other gay men is that I like men. Now I know that classifies me as "gay" but there was a time I liked women more and never thought anything of it. And just because I do like men does not mean I do not like women as well. This may come off to some as some weird stage of denial, but I can guarantee it is not. I've known for quite a long time that my belief is to simply do what feels right, when it feels right, and when it doesn't feel right, stop doing it. That's my theory in life which has simply carried through my sexual life as well. I don't really feel it's my place to try to control other peoples thoughts and titles they have for me by explaining myself to them all the time because even if I did it doesn't mean I have changed anyone's thoughts, I've only given them my opinion on myself.
   In saying all this, I'm not denying liking men and I'm not saying I could seriously see myself with a woman. The only thing is that I can't seriously see myself with a man either. As far as sex, I've been with both, plenty, and the first was a female, it just never made a difference to me. There has yet to be a day in my life where I have been confused as to what I liked or why, I've only been confused as to whom I could share it with. I previously have been reading a novel called The Heart Listens and in it was a quote from a character pretty much describing what I've never been able to put in words. Here it is: "Give love where it is needed. If my presence, my body affords happiness to another, that is where my own happiness lay. I love both sexes, unquestioningly, unhesitatingly, and with no thought of conventions, which were, after all, man-made. There is no such thing as a prefix to the word sexual ---not hetero or homo or even bi." - Tony Alexander, The Heart Listens. I felt that really explained a bit the way I feel because it's just that, "give love where it is needed." My entire sexuality is based on my love, and all the things that make up my love. But because it is different than heterosexual it has to be classified as something...which I just say, “if the shoe fits, wear it“, so I'm classified as gay. Sure I'm flamboyant, happy-go-lucky, overly cheerful, and as dramatic as can be, but all those things are personality traits, characteristics; they have nothing to do with who I  love or am attracted to. Most people don't know I have such an opinion on sexuality, but most people have also never asked me.
    I am aware I was not asked why I'm gay, or what I call it, but in order for one to understand my answers to my dear friends questions; I needed to explain, a little, the way my mind works.

Q:
"If there was a "gay gene" found what would that do to you and your relationships with people in your life?"

"What are your views of the biological view of homosexuality?"

A:
    To be quite honest, if there was a "gay gene" found the only thing it would do is piss me off a little bit. I, since I am classified as "gay", can give my full opinion that I do not believe there is any biological or genetic explanation for homosexuality. It's much more simple than that, and honestly gay has been blown out of proportion nowadays. Gay is being taken way out of hand. Gay people are not mutants, nothing is wrong with them, they are simply honest about who they love and the people who are different, or "normal" ,should I say, see something wrong with it, because they don't understand, and call it wrong. Choosing to be gay is a way of choosing your own battles in life. Accepting that you are gay is a way of choosing your own battles with yourself. I do believe that it is a conscience decision to be gay, or to accept that you are gay, and there's nothing more to it. It's like sweets and vegetables,  say a man likes sweets but thinks vegetables are ok too. He knows which one is better for him but he doesn't really care because life is about fulfillment and one should have what he likes while he has the option. With this in mind he chooses the sweets even though it is frowned upon, and is not considered "right" to eat sweets over vegetables. I like men but women are ok too. I know which one is best for me but I don't really care because life is about fulfillment and I should have what I want while I still have the option. With that in mind, even though I know males are supposed to be with females and anything else is not except able; I choose men anyway because I don't care. That right there is how gay happens, I swear. My blood never boiled, I never had a chemical reaction inside me, I simply chose what I liked. Other gay guys may not like women at all, not even a little, but they still made a decision to like men, or to accept that it's in their heart. However nowadays we're not well enough encouraged to believe in ourselves, and love ourselves no matter what, so, unfortunately, we hope for some biological or genetic explanation of why we're "different". But what the "normal" people don't get is that, to us, they are the different ones.
     I must ask, If there is some gene in homosexual human beings that makes them gay, does that mean there is a gene in heterosexual human beings that makes them straight? And could it possibly be that there is, in fact, a gene, or structure of genes, that makes heterosexuals straight, and homosexuals are simply missing that gene instead of having an extra? There are too many ways to look at it when it comes to science so I like to think that the only thing in me that decided whether I like women or men is my heart and my ability to be strong, love, and accept myself in whatever way I am. I don't think we need to research what makes gay people gay, what we need to research is why the world we live in cannot simply accept others for others, as different as they may come, without having a factual explanation for WHY they are different.

Q:
"If there was a "gay gene" what would that do to the gay community? Would it give you validation in a way?"

A:
    I may sound a bit of an a*****e on this one, but it's how I feel. I think the worst thing that could happen right now is for anyone to give the gays a reason to strike back. Telling gays that there is a genetic reason for they're condition is just stupid. People need to realize, gay people and straight people alike, that gays are not singled out and ridiculed because they are gay, they are singled out and ridiculed because they are different. It happened to the Indians, the black people, white people( in some places), it happens everywhere, and now it's happening to the Mexicans, as well as the gays. Anyway, I don't really think there is a biological or genetic explanation behind being gay, there really isn't, it's not that serious. People are just so afraid, today, to admit that they're different, that they would rather have a scientific, biological, or genetic explanation of why they are different than simply being strong and admitting they are different because they chose to be true to themselves. While I do not believe there is a specific gene responsible for homosexuals being so, I do believe it is possible that gay men access some of, if not more, of the emotions women access which make them attracted to men. If it is scientific in that sense, meaning just by how the emotions are created, then fine. But I do not believe there is a gene in homosexuals that does not exist in other human beings. That is a form of mutation. Gays are still human.

    I chose to be different no matter how anyone else feels about it because at the end of the day only me and God will know whether or not I'm happy. And when I die and God begins his questions at Judgment Day, I'd rather not tell him I chose to be heterosexual over choosing to be happy. I don't think that would make him very proud of the world he created. There is no biological or genetic reason people choose to be happy...even if happy means gay.

    There is not a person on this earth who can honestly say he has never wondered what it's like. The only difference between him and gays is that the gays found out. And they liked it enough to live with it.

The End